Freedom from your programs
This is a big one! What would be possible if you did not doubt yourself?
A large number my clients have listed this as one of the goals they want to achieve and oddly enough this is normally the one thing that prevents you from achieving your goals.
Before I go into how to get over self-doubt you need to know a little more about it.
The very good news that nearly every person on the planet has suffered from self-doubt and the only ones not to are psychopaths. The fact that you are interested enough to be reading this is a good indication that you are not a psychopath.☺
So why do you have self-doubt when all it really does is stop you from achieving things that you want to achieve? If you have been following any of my blogs you will have read about the conscious and unconscious minds and how your experience of reality is made up of the combination of these two parts of you. They do not play an equal part though as your unconscious mind contributes at least 95% to how you experience reality and your conscious mind only 5%. Your unconscious mind is very important as it directs and gives the instructions for your heart to beat, your lungs to breathing and maintains all of the bodies functions that it would be impossible for you to run manually.
It also interprets all of the information coming in from your senses all of the time. It compares them to data it has already collected to assess whether they are dangerous or pleasurable. Anyone who has had young children will know that they don’t automatically know that some things are hot and can burn them. It normally takes one experience for them to develop a program that stops them from touching hot things again. How these programs work is that once they are triggered by the information coming in from your senses such as heat or steam this activates one of your programs which will send thoughts which activate feelings which in turn cause you to respond in a certain way. If you have ever tried to do something you are afraid of you will know how hard it is to act against your feelings and yet all they are -is feelings! For instance I will assume that you have at some point burnt yourself and developed the program to prevent this from happening again. So if you were to decide that you wanted to walk on hot coals (as some people do), the only thing stopping you would be your thoughts and feelings; and believe you me getting past these is tough! This is how powerful your subconscious mind is at controlling your experiences of life. You have 1000’s of these programs that control how you interact with others, how you communicate, whether you are outgoing or introverted, self-confident or not.
I am telling you all of this because this is where self-doubt comes in. When you experience self-doubt you are doing something that you have either never done before or something that you have not managed to do before. Your subconscious mind accesses its database of everything you have ever experienced and either says “Uh Oh we have no data -this could be a potentially life threatening or humiliating situation let’s put on the brakes and activate the self-doubt” or it will say “Ah Ha the data is not looking good we did this before and it didn’t work. Going on the data it won’t work again. This situation could be problematic lets activate self-doubt.”
I think it is so very important to know that self-doubt is not based on facts it is based on the past or on lack of information and it is something that most of us feel a lot of the time when we are pushing boundaries and growing.
This is why fear contracts your life because if you give in to self-doubt and fear you will stop pushing the boundaries and your life will become less because of it. However if you choose to see fear and self-doubt for what they are - just programs - you can then choose to live your life to the full.
But... If you are anything like me you still want to know, HOW to get past self-doubt. You may want a magic pill but unfortunately I can't offer you that. I can however share with you the way I do know - and that is;
To move past self doubt you need to build up positive information in your subconscious that supports you rather than limits you. The exercise I am going to share with you I use with every single client I have and it is very simple but has to be acted on over and over again to really have impact.
This little process I have described is why coaching is so very successful, because you are checking in with someone else every week there is more motivation to ensure you keep your word to yourself and before you know it you have turned your life around and cant imagine WHY you were so concerned in the first place!
I would like to share an example with you. I am dyslexic and as you can imagine writing does not come naturally to me. It has taken me years to get to this place where I can sit down and rattle off an article without putting it off and finding something else to do. I did not find this easy but did keep setting myself challenges and did keep stepping forwards. Now I am fairly confident in my ability to write my thoughts down. I do still make the odd mistake (especially when it comes to punctuation!) but I no longer feel that my life is limited my by dyslexia. ☺
Wishing you a wonderful week and hoping that you find the freedom that comes from believing in yourself.
This is a strategy that I came up with around 3 years ago. I love simplicity and finding patterns to create short cuts in life. Having coached 100’s of people I decided to find a strategy that would help anyone with any challenge they were facing and allow them to acheive success. This is what I came up with.
Everything in life is created with the same process;
Thought - Emotion - Action
You can look around your environment right now. Look at what you are sitting on, what you are holding, wearing and in fact you yourself were created using this process. First your parents thought they would like to connect, they then felt emotions that caused the action of connecting intimately and then 9 months or so later you were born. The seat you are sitting on or the shoes that you are wearing were also created in this manner. Someone had an idea (thought), felt (emotion) it would be a good idea to create it and then created it (action).
Most things we create in life we do so unconsciously, most of us have not mastered our thoughts and emotions and therefor our actions come from this unconscious space. You only need to look into where you are struggling in your own life to know that you would not have don’t this to yourself consciously. There for you must have created it unconsciously. This strategy will support you in creating consciously so that you can overcome the unconscious thoughts and emotions that can so often derail you and I.
Know the solution you want
I have been struggling with my own very intense challenges in the last few months and it has given me the opportunity to trial this strategy first hand. I found that the strategy held firm but that I needed to master a deeper understanding of a few of the steps. Below I have elaborated on one of these subtleties as it pertains to point 8.
8. Step into the emotion of having achieved the result
This step is the one I have been focused on the most in the last month. I have realised that it is one of the most important steps if not the most important one. When you try to create from fear or lack you will only create more fear and lack. It is absolutely vital to be able to step into the feelings you wish to have even if you only do it for a few moments each day. There is so much to explain around this that I cant get it all down here. However the below explanation will get you started…
We are brought up to place great value in doing things and whilst doing in incredibly important who we are “Being” whilst we are doing is even more important. The strategy above encourages action and it is important, but for your actions to take you where you want to go you will need to be able to change your state from, lack and fear to, having already achieved it. Let me explain by referencing the example of creation I gave you at the beginning of the blog.
Most people try to acheive success by following the process of creation in this order;
1. Action - Emotion - Thought
With example 2 the order the process is followed is slightly different;
2. Thought - Emotion - Action
Here is a more visual explanation;
Example 1 (the one below) Doing Success - Exhausting, defeating, overwhelming, uncertain
Example 2 (above) Being Success - Joy, ease, fulfilment, certainty,
In example 1, success is somewhere outside of yourself somewhere you need to get to and you need to take the right action to get you there. Your achieving success is dependent on external circumstances and other people allowing you to be successful.
In example 2, who you are “Being” creates success and all action takes you there, because it is already where you are. Your achieving success is totally dependent on you and no one and nothing else.
I hope that this will help you to step into a positive and glorious 2018 where the only limitations on your success are due to you not having imagined it yet.
Best wishes and lots of love
How To Create A Flow Of Abundance
I have taken time to specifically focus on gratitude, I have joined gratitude groups where we check in and say what we are grateful for, and I have read about how important gratitude is for a consciously aware life - I thought I understood it. However, I didn’t really get it until this morning…
I went out for my usual run/walk/ponder today, I run because it helps me be in my body and connect with all that is around me. It is my time in the day to centre myself and connect with all that is. Somedays it is easier to do this than on other days and today was one of the tricky ones. I really struggled to get out of my head. I have a lot of things going on and a lot to worry about, but I also know that this incessant worrying is not good for me and will not take me where I want to go. I am aware that it is my automated, ego driven, safety mechanism but this was not helping me to step out of it and really enjoy the gorgeous day around me.
As I turned to come home a little thought popped into my head - that I should take a moment and sit under the big old oak tree, (a particular favourite of mine due to the comfy stones strewn around beneath it). I nearly dismissed it as it was only a very little thought. It was only after a fairly intense conversation in my head debating if I should listen to this little thought - it might not really be anything, was I being reminded to take a moment or was it just preconditioning as I often stop and sit under this gorgeous tree. I really had a lot to do today and getting home earlier would mean more time to do it all in. In the end I decided to honour this little thought and spend a few minutes in contemplation.
As I sat beneath the lovely old tree I looked up through the golden autumn leaves against the deep blue sky. These colour combinations at this time of year feel to me like the promise of the warmth of summer from a world that is stepping into winter. It took me out of my worries and troubles and brought me firmly into the present moment. I was reminded once again that being present and out of my head is such a wonderful place to be. There is so much magic in this space, simple but powerful magic. I began to feel deeply grateful for the little thought that hinted at sitting down. As I began to feel grateful I became aware of how gratitude works. I just love how following one innocent little thought can lead to such deep insights :)
As I explained earlier I have had a lot on my mind and most of my worrying was due to a lack of movement in abundance flowing into my life. I believe that everything in life is energy and for energy and abundance to flow to me it helps for me to be open to receiving it. I have generally been someone who is not that great at receiving things; compliments, money, gifts etc. It tends to make me feel guilty. I have known for a long time that I am not that good at receiving but I never knew how to change this and become good at receiving. It is one thing to know what you are doing wrong but a completely different matter to know how to resolve it.
As I continued on my run after leaving the oak tree I felt so much more connected and grateful. It was whilst feeling this immense gratitude that it came to me that gratitude is the key to receiving! When we are in a state of gratitude our heart is open, allowing the flow of universal energy to flow through us and our experience of life. With an open grateful heart all the abundance in the world can flow towards us and our experience of life.
You might have already realised this but for me this was one of those huge Ah Ha! moments. Now I know how to receive the abundance of life;
With so much love and gratitude Britt
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Until about 10 years ago I was unaware that our thoughts could create our reality or that we could change our reality by changing our belief systems (programming). My fascination is with personal power by this I mean the power that you can harness that allows you to achieve truly amazing things. For example the power that Nelson Mandela used to peacefully guide a divided country (South Africa) that had so much hatred in it to unity. The same power Gandhi used to defeat the British Empire without ever using violence. I have dedicated my life towards the study of this power and to share it in a way that others can use it should they wish.
In the first few blogs that I write we will be focused on exploring how we operate as human beings. I feel that it is important to first create awareness in this so that you are then more able to utilise the solutions I will give later. Would you agree that to become a master at something you need to first understand how it works? Let us take computer operating for example. Some of us are better at operating computers than others (Yes or no?) and some are so exceptional that they can programme computers to do whatever they require. The same is true of our minds. The majority of you know how to operate your mind (I bet that is a relief). Then there are those that have mastered their minds and can program their mind to achieve whatever they want in their lives. This is the art of awareness/consciousness how conscious a person is, comes down to how well they are able to operate their hardware (mind). Let us explore these three states of mind further.
How our mind works
For the most part of your life you are being used by your biological survival system which means that you are not actually directing your life. Below I will explain how this all works and create awareness of how you can start to move past these programs to truly empowering your life.
You have 3 layers to your mind:
The subconscious then uses these programs to sort the information that comes in (from your senses) if something worked in the past it is hardwired into your emotions, behaviour and reactions as a way to ensure your survival.
Our conscious mind then uses this information (feelings, emotions etc.) to base decisions on. Can you see that we can only decide what to do from the programming that we have acquired?
The problem is that these programs are created unconsciously in response to pain (or pleasure) and we don’t consciously design the reactions so many of these programs actually work against where you want your life to be going.
For instance let us imagine that as a child you were incredibly clever and as a result you were teased and bullied. You felt unacceptable, like there was something wrong with you, misunderstood and that standing out equalled great pain (threat to survival). To protect yourself from further pain your unconscious mind develops a program using the information relating to this incident and it links it to your fight flight and freeze mechanisms, which get triggered at any time you sense you are standing out from the crowd. The next time you do stand out information comes in through your subconscious mind and the program is triggered. Your fight flight and freeze mechanisms are activated. You start to feel anxious, you feel short of breath, your heart starts to race and your higher thinking mind gets shut down (you don’t need this to make a quick escape). You will have a number of ways to react and once you choose one this will become your escape of choice. It might be by keeping quiet, not sharing your ideas, leaving the room or saying something stupid just to fit in. Whilst these actions do keep you physically safe they will not be supporting you to achieve success in life as you will have hidden your intelligence so well that no one will be able to see it! You might even start to believe that you are stupid! Reasons like this are why so many people want success in some area or another and yet never seem to get there.
And here is the good news! The more conscious you become the more able you are to notice these limiting programs and the more choices you have to rewrite them, which I will come to later. There is one more thing that it is important for you to be aware of.
Fear of Change
Your programming is also one of the reasons that change is so scary for most people. If you base all of your actions on programs that are already built into your system what do you think will happen when you set off to do something that there is no program for? You have got it, huge red flags will be raised and your fight flight and freeze mechanisms will be activated. If there is no information and programming for your unconscious and subconscious minds to access relating to what you are about to do it does not know if you are going to be “safe” this is why feelings of anxiety, fear, doubt and panic can be felt at any point you choose to create a big change in your life, and why people who are clearly not in a situation that is good for them stay rather than moving on. Now that you are aware of this you will recognise these feelings in yourself when do decide to make changes in your life and you can then choose to act despite what you are feeling.
The key to overcoming your programming is your conscious mind and your ability to make choices. The more conscious you become the more you will be able to recognise a program that is not supporting you, you can then choose to act in a different manner and change your destiny. And yes this is easier said than done as quite often you are not supported in these changes by your thoughts or feelings. In the next blog I will be looking at these and showing you how you can act in spite of them.
Lots of love Britt
Fear…… the feeling of panic and nausea, your heart racing out of control, hot sweaty hands and formless words.
Fear can overtake you at the most inconvenient of times, and it is something that you most likely avoid if at all possible. Yet when was the last time you felt truly alive, the sensation of your body tingling with a sense of new found power and accomplishment? Just think and find it before continuing.
I would imagine that it was right after you did something that you found frightening something that was outside your comfort zone!?
Life just would not be worth living if it wasn’t for a good dose of fear. Think about any novel you have read or movie that you have watched. If it doesn’t have some sort of fear inducing scene one where you want to know what happens would you read or watch it? Of course it is a lot easier to experience the fear of lost love, rejection, failure, death, etc. through a book or movie than it is to live through it and if it gets too much there is always the option to switch off or close the book, yet it is in conquering the feeling of fear that we get to feel truly alive and free. Would you not agree that fear traps you and limits your life?
Now for the science: Fear is actually just another emotion. It is linked to the reptilian part of the brain which triggered activates your flight fight and freeze mechanisms. This means that fear feels incredibly real due to the physical sensations that accompany it. Fear is a very important mechanism to ensure we don’t kill ourselves. If we didn’t fear big scary animals our species would have died out a very long time ago. The challenge is that in our modern society we have learnt so many new fears that we can find ourselves trapped in a life that is blocked by fears we have created. As I mentioned in my first blog our unconscious mind develops programs to keep us physically safe and it uses emotion to write these programs. So if you once got a fright when someone screamed because there was a spider (or you saw a scary spider movie) you would be telling your unconscious mind that spiders are scary it had better quickly write a program to protect you from spiders. After this each time you see a spider your unconscious mind would trigger your reptilian brain and your fight flight and freeze mechanisms will be activated, and when you respond in a fearful way you are strengthening the program and confirming it and so it goes on. I mentioned that we learn most of our fears.
When we are born we only have 2 fears:
It is important for us to realise what fears are real and which ones are in our way. A fear of snakes serves you if you live where there are poisonous snakes yet a fear of rejection will most likely stand in the way of you having fulfilling relationships.
Our top fears are sometimes things we are not even aware we are afraid of. These are ones that have come out again and again with people I have worked with and they can translate into a fear of heights, public speaking etc. In no particular order:
The way to get past this is by following these steps and using courage.
I have also realised that freedom is on the other side of fear. So it is only by passing through your greatest fears that you will finally find your greatest freedom. My greatest fear is of falling yet my greatest dream is to be able to fly. To achieve my dream I need to conquer my fear. Incidentally flying symbolises freedom for me. I recently made my first step in this direction by doing a gorge jump at Victoria Falls with Tristen my eldest son. I don’t know how I managed to get my feet to move to the end of the very gang plank looking jumping platform yet I was determined. Luckily for me the rope had quite a bit of tension so once I was on the end I didn’t really have much choice but to go. My whole body ceased up as I fell and when the rope caught I was so incredibly glad we had done it. It also formed an amazing bond between Tristen and me as well and giving me huge confidence in other areas of my life. I mean what are a few phone calls when you have jumped off a cliff???? Apparently Tristen wants to do a parachute jump for his birthday and he wants me to do it with him so I guess that will be the next step!!!
What I haven’t mentioned and what we will look at another day is that what frightens us more than the negative things are the positive things like success, true love, being truly powerful or being great.
Good luck and just remember to challenge yourself otherwise you might as well curl up and give up.
Love you lots