Today I want to talk about playing with the universe, and it is a playground. It is a joyful place to be the problem is that we are brought up not to know how to and we are brought up not to believe that it is. Instead we are taught that it is a serious place and that we need to work hard and take ourselves seriously. When you watch children they don’t take life seriously there's a curiosity a joy and lightness.
When I look back on when I was a child I was a phenomenal a creator, I do not mean this to brag I am sure if you look back at your childhood you will find you were too. I loved horses but we had very little money and certainly not enough to own or even lease a horse. Yet my inability to see limitations allowed me to create the experience of owning a pony without actually having to own it. We heard about someone’s son who had out grown his pony. He was a typical Thelwell pony. He was a strawberry rhone Section B Welsh pony named Concord and he was perfect! They didn't want to give him up because they loved him dearly, so I got to look after him, ride him, take him to pony club and care for him completely free as if he was my own.
There were so many things that I was able to create when I was young because I just enjoyed it . I found life so amazingly interesting, and what I want to share with you today is the thought that - if we were able to take life less seriously maybe we wouldn't get so hurt or feel so defeated when things don't turn out the way we want them to. Instead of seeing ourselves as failures or that live is hard or working against us we would shrug and think oh well let me try that again. It would be more like a game just a skill we hadn’t mastered yet rather than the way life is. It would be like learning to ride a bicycle or learning to walk. If you fall over you wouldn’t beat yourself up and say “I am an awful person,” “I failed I'll never be able to do this”! Instead you would giggle and bounce back up and try again.
In the past I didn't truly understand how creation worked. I thought that if I got the creation process right then Universe/Source would deliver what I wanted and it would be perfect. If it wasn’t then I felt that there was something wrong with me, that I was ungrateful, undeserving, selfish, or not good enough. I didn't realise that what I was receiving was just a reflection of the level that I was vibrating at and what I was holding onto in my energy body. Now I realised that there's such joy in creation and there is such juiciness and such wonder and that if I don’t like what I created I can change direction, throw it back (metaphorically) or try something else.
Where did we lose our curiosity and wonder at life? Why do we take it so personally?
In the past I have been quite a dab hand at creating boyfriends. I have done it twice.
1, When I created the first one I had a list. I was very specific! He had to be taller than me, a non smoker, a handyman (the men in my family are not really very handy), caring and I can't remember what else but it was extensive and very detailed. The person that came into my life ticked every single box. It was amazing but the relationship was a disaster. I thought I had failed. I remember feeling very specifically that I must have done something wrong. I tried so hard to be the right person and I punished myself because I believed that I was the failure in the relationship. I believed I was the one that was causing it to be so awful.
2, A few years later I decided I would try again and I created another list, but this time it was a very different list. Instead of having physical attributes my new list was more about experiences that I wanted to have with this person. I wanted to enjoy dancing with him. I wanted to feel loved by him and I can’t even remember what else was on the list but again it was quite detailed. The next man I met ticked all of these items on my list, but this time it was different. Right from the start even though there was an instant connection I took it a bit slower and when I was dating him there came a point when I realised that something wasn’t quite right, something was off . Unfortunately I still hadn’t quite gotten it so I ignored this feeling because I thought that since the Universe/Source has brought me this person he must be the right one. I now realise he showed up i my life because of where I was vibrating at that point in my life. I didn't have to go out with him and when I sensed that there was something off I could have ended it then. I could have said you know what this isn't going to work for me. If could have seen it for what it was - I had had a wobble on my bicycle and just needed more practice at creating. I could have said “okay I know I have attracted this person because of where I am vibrating at and there's something not quite right. Let me have a little play with what is sticking and see where my vibration is off. Let me recalibrate and then go back and see what's out there in the world that meets where I want to be”. I knew where I wanted to be with my vibration but I hadn't quite gotten there yet, I hadn't fine-tuned it enough. As it happened I lived with the guy for close to 3 years and it took me years afterwards to even contemplate dating again. This was because I took it so seriously when it needn’t have been. I think I have gotten there in the end but I hope that this blog helps you to get there a little faster than I did and to enjoy the ride a little more.
You can access more of my resources on this website.
So much love from me to you
Since I have known about it I have found how life reflects what is going on inside my head to be fascinating. People often think that life happens to us but it is who we are being that creates our lives and most definitely creates the experience we have of life. Your life is a reflection of your focus.
You might already know this but I hope through the examples I am going to give you and from sone of the insights I have gained over the years which I will share that you might be able to gain a deeper understanding for yourself.
I know I have mentioned Abraham Hicks quite a few times recently I, have been listening to a lot of their podcast and what they say really speaks to me and is very much in line with my own thoughts and experiences.
We are all made of energy and we vibrate and depending on what we are focusing on we vibrate at different frequencies. We also have an energy field (which Abraham call’s “the vortex”) and this energy field is full of everything you have experienced. The things you don’t like and the things you do like. Every time you focus on something it registers in this energy field. Through the contrast of life you have added many things to your energy field and you activate them and deactivate them by how you focus. The more you focus on something, the more you are emotionally charged about it, the more you aligned to it and the more likely you are to see it showing up in your life. It doesn't matter what you focus on but the more energetically you’re charged by it be it positive or negative the more likely it is to show up in your environment.
I have found that FaceBook or any social media demonstrates this incredibly well;
I was walking with a very dear friend of mine and we were talking about Facebook. She was complaining that all people seemed to post about were conspiracy theories and hating the government and she wished people would stop doing this. Her comments got me thinking, I very rarely get any of these things in my feed but I realised that when I do I simply flick past them. I don’t read them, like them, share them or comment on them. I don’t engage with them at all which I suppose means I don’t engage with people who post this material either. I think because of this FaceBook’s logarithms (much like life) realise that this is of no interest to me and stop sending me these posts. I allow what you don’t want in life just let it pass you by, don’t engage with it, shout at it, think about it or focus on it in any way (unless you are legally obliged to then do what you have to with the least amount of emotional attachment).
After thinking about this I realised that I had real life experience of how not focusing on the stuff I don’t want has helped me to have more of what I do.
Before I left Botswana the country was going through a really rough time. Crime was up especially in my neighbourhood (when the river ran dry thieves could escape across into South Africa and the Botswana police weren’t able to follow them), we were going through a 4 year drought hence the dry river and there were big problems with the new power plant, in that it didn’t work. This meant Botswana had to buy power in from South Africa or Angola and these places did not even have enough power for themselves, so there were many power cuts too. However I chose not to gossip about the crime, or to talk and worry about the power cuts or water shortages. I consciously chose to focus on safety and having water and power. This is not to say that I did not take precautions, I locked the doors every night and put the alarm on, we were carful about the water we used and made plans for when we had power cuts. I lived in this house mainly on my own with my two boys for 14 years and only had 1 theft and this was very minor. Someone passed through our property one night and stole a frozen pie out of a freezer that was on the porch. In the time I lived there both of my neighbours were broken into but I never was. During the drought everyone who lived near us had to truck water in for all of their amenities and we didn’t. Our boar hole kept going and we were fine. We were also very lucky with the power. We did have power cuts however at one time the government instituted nightly power usage limits which meant you were lucky if you could boil a kettle. We were incredibly fortunate because we had three phase power (don’t ask me to explain what this is) and this meant we were exempt from this action. Writing this now it seems like this was an easy thing to do but it wasn’t. I wasn’t always sure of what I was doing or if it would work, doubted myself and doubted what I thought I knew but I did know that engaging with the fear only made me more frightened and I didn’t like feeling like that. Looking back on this time it is my belief that how I chose to focus impacted not only how I felt during this time but also what I experienced.
I would also like to point out that I was not fighting reality (I was not making it wrong) - the crime, drought or power cuts. I accepted that they were part of my life and chose actions to ensure my safety and that of my children but I also but to the best of my ability I chose to then focus on the positive things in my life.
I hope that this has in some way inspired you to see how you can create your own reality just by focusing on what you want in your reality rather on the things that you don't want. And by choosing who you interact with, the conversations you have, the things you read, and what you do you can change your experience of your life.
If you want to access more of my resources or arrange a coaching session you can find my website address in my profile.
So much love from me to you
I decided to write this blog because I have been running a free ho’oponopono clearing meditation on Tuesdays. I get lots of people that come along, which is fabulous, but people are at different stages of their ho'oponopono journey. So I decided to create this blog as a resource people can use to find out what ho’oponopono is all about.
We all see life through our own lens and I realise that what I share I will be sharing through my own lens so to be transparent I use ho’oponopono as a consciousness tool. My journey and what I have to share with the world is all about shifting from a state of automation, survival, subconscious programming and behaviour into living a much more conscious self-aware blissful aligned connected to source life. The one is detached and out of alignment the other is in flow and aligned. Everything that I do, share and coach is all about helping people to shift from that space into the more conscious self-aware space. ho’oponopono for me is one of the tools that you can use to help you to transition from the automated subconscious space into a more conscious self-aware space.
Ho'oponopono comes from Hawaii. It is a Hawaiian mystical tool that they use to help bring them back to what they call zero and to connect with Source. They have different words for this space but I am just using my own words to help explain. I also use the word Source because I am more spiritual than religious but you are welcome to change that word for your own use, into God or Allah or whatever it is that for you symbolises the energy that I am speaking about.
Before we go into the theory I want to share a little about Dr Hew Len who was the person I learnt ho’oponopono from. If you want to know more you can google him (I have added a link on his name) and you'll see lots of youtube clips where he talks about ho’oponopono. His story is that a long time ago he was employed by an institution for the criminally insane. This particular institution had a really high turnover of staff I think staff would only last a couple of months because it was such traumatic and stressful place to work. When Dr Hew Len joined he only used ho’oponopono. From what I understand he had the names of all the inmates on a piece of paper. Instead of going in and working with them personally as most therapists would, he sat with the list and as he read through each name he would be very aware of what was coming up for him and he would say the ho’oponopono clearing phrase until he felt he had cleared what ever came up within himself. After two years they closed the place down as there were no inmates left.
The ho’oponopono clearing phrase is -
"I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, and thank you"
Ho’oponopono is incredibly powerful and if you use it for no other reason then it is fabulous as a pattern interrupt. If you are not spiritual or interested in energy and everything else which I speak about then I would still recommend using this tool as it is incredible for disrupting your programmed subconscious thoughts and beliefs. If you want to create a new reality in your life but you find your thoughts and beliefs are working against you ho’oponopono can help you to create from a clean space. Every time you catch yourself thinking something negative or against what you want to create you use the clearing phrase. And as you use it, it immediately shifts your focus onto something else. So for that reason alone it is incredibly powerful, but to me there is so much more to it.
When you say each of the phrases you are saying them Source and to the Source within you.
- When you say “I love you” you're saying it the spark of pure energy, the eternal light within yourself and you are also saying it to the eternal light and to everything that is Source externally from you (although ultimately we are all one so there is no internal and external).
- When you say “I'm sorry” you are saying - I’m sorry for my conditioned thinking, for my wrong thinking, for the way that I've inadvertently programmed myself to think through my lifetime that isn't really the truth of who I am that is not the truth of Source. And you are saying sorry for it because you didn't do it intentionally. You didn't even know that you were doing it but you did do it. And in that I'm sorry there's a relaxing around whatever it is that you've been attached to in the thought pattern.
- Then you say “please forgive me” and this again is to the Source within you and the Source externally from you and as you say that there's a letting go of the thoughts and the patterns that you've been holding around this.
- The final statement is “thank you” and to me there is so much joy and bliss in the thank you. It helps me to resonate with Source. It helps me to reconnect and to be in that space with Source again.
Going back to the I love you part, when I say, “I love you” I feel so expanded it is like I plug directly into Source. I don’t know what the purists would say whether you have to say the phrases all the way through over and over again but I sometimes say only a part of it. If I'm feeling in a particularly blissful, and connected space that I want to amplify and increase the enjoyment of I might just sit with “I love you” and say it over and over again. I am now aware when I shift into my subconscious patterning because when I do it feels like I can’t see Source around me. I can't see it in me and I can't see it in others. And it is as if I have been locked in a dark room. When I feel like this I use “I’m sorry”. I might repeat I’m sorry over and over until I feel a shift and can step back from whatever it is that I feel engulfed by at the time and reconnect with Source. I will then move on to “please forgive me” and “thank you”. What I am trying to say here is play with it, feel it, and be with it.
In my ho’oponopono training Dr Hew Len would point to a white board and explain that the whiteboard represented our minds when they were clean. The nothingness or as he calls it “zero” is what we all are in our truth and our essence. And every time we think a thought we put a mark on the whiteboard. The ho’oponopono clearing statements are a way for you erase these marks from your Being. The more you clear the more you raise your vibration the more you are in alignment with Source and the more you get to create from this beautiful space.
I am sure I haven't covered everything in this blog I hope that it will help you to start understanding a little bit more about ho'oponopono and hopefully you'll come and join me on a Tuesday for my free ho’oponopono clearing meditation and experience it for yourself.
If you want to access any more of my resources (and there are many) you can find them on my website which is in my bio. I’ve got a number of free courses as well as more in-depth extensive courses and I also do coaching and I would be more than happy to have a free chemistry call with you.
So much love from me to you
Everything in the world is made up of energy and vibrates at a certain frequency, you do too and so do I. As humans we can increase our frequency of vibration or decrease it. When think of the state of flow to me it’s about how open or how closed we are to the flow of life (the energy of life). It is also about the frequency that our energy vibrate at and the higher our energy vibrates the more it aligns with Source and the frequency of Source.
For me getting into flow is about being in alignment with Source (I call it Source you might call it God or Allah or something else. Please substitute Source for what ever you are most comfortable with) the more open you are the more you allow Source to flow through you and the higher you vibrate. This allowing of the flow is something that we are all able to do and the more that you play in this space the more you can feel when you are open and allowing flow or not. I can feel when I am closing myself off because I get tight in my chest. That is not to say that you will become tight in this area, you might get a tightness somewhere else in your body and it might depend on whatever it is that is causing you to close.
You might feel your self close when you experience something in your world that you have resistance to. Such as something that makes you angry or sad or anything that causes you to feel negative in any way. This happens because subconsciously you will want to protect your idea of yourself, your identity. The part of yourself that you have created during this life time that is made up of what you like and don’t like what you think is wrong or right, the things you fear and love the things that you think make you You. You will also want to protect the core of who you are, your truth. The part of you that is eternal and part of Source you might call it your soul. Ironically this part of you doesn't need protecting because it is eternal but subconsciously you are programmed to believe it does need protecting. So, when something you feel threatens your happiness, your way of being, your life as you know it, or threatens you in any way your instinct is to close down and to close in and pull your energy inwards.
You can actually experiment with this with a couple of wire coat hangers (dowsing rods) I have created a video (I am sorry it isn’t great quality) that you can watch to show you how to do this - Playing With Your Energy and you can see how when you think positive thoughts your energy field opens and when you think negative thoughts your energy field closes.
You change your energy field often when you interact with other people. If you meet someone you don’t know or who you don’t feel 100% comfortable with you can become guarded and if you are with someone who you feel happy, relaxed, and safe with you will naturally open. Whether you are open or closed can affect the interactions that you have with people. It affects your relationships and your ability to connect with people. I am sharing this because you might not be aware of it but by sharing it with you hopefully now when you meet people
As you get better at consciously opening up or closing down this you might be able to consciously open up when you are with people that you feel you would normally automatically close off from. You can then observe how different relationships could be if you were able to be more open and how that effects your whole life.
Initially you might find you have resistance to opening up with people that you don't necessarily want to be open with. You might feel that by opening with them you will be vulnerable and that they might take advantage of you. I have written about Authentic Power and about holding space for your Being it is about being who you are irrespective of what's going on in the world and this ties in very much into what I am talking about here. It is about being able to be open irrespective of what somebody's doing but doing it from a space of power. It might take practice to be able to be open but not weak. When you get it right being open is actually a very powerful way to be. If you think of some truly authentically powerful people they were very open. People such as Nelson Mandela, Dr Wane Dyer and I have met some spiritual people who were able to do this too. It is about being unashamedly who you are all your glory and all your wonder and not changing this in response to the outside world. Allowing other people to be whoever they are. Not reacting to whatever it is that they're throwing at you or whatever emotion that they're projecting onto you. It is understanding that their emotions are not your emotions even if at times you might be able to feel it through what they are saying. It is their emotion and all you are doing is experiencing it. True power this authentic power is about holding the space, remaining open with love and compassion and allowing the other person to experience whatever they're experiencing.
As soon as you feel judgment, fear, or any negative thought towards the other person you immediately pull your energy in and you close yourself off. I am not saying that you should be open all the time I am only sharing with you so that you can start to play with it.
I actually had an incident with somebody I am very close to yesterday. They had some upsetting news and they wanted to be angry. I could feel that they were angry and they wanted to project that anger onto me and have a good old argument. I knew that, that is what they were trying to do and in knowing that and understanding that I was able to be with them with love and compassion. And every time they tried to bring me into an argument and to make it about whatever had happened and to release their anger and project it onto me I would just say - “I know that you're feeling angry and I know that whatever I say right now is going to make that anger worse, but know that I am here and I love you and I will always love you.” This allowed them to realise that I was not going to play their game. I was not going to close off and get pulled into an argument which would hurt us both, but I also didn’t make them being angry wrong either. It allowed this person to know that it's acceptable for them to feel whatever they were feeling and also to know that I would not allow them to influence who I chose to be.
Being in flow is so much more fun too. I did a little experiment a number of years ago (I think I might have shared it in another of my blogs but I am going to share it again). When I was driving I decided to let as many people in as I could. It someone was at a road junction when I came up to them I would let them in. I made it my intention to let people in and the more people that I let in the more I realised that other people let me in. Because I was coming from a space of love, joy and happiness and being open it allowed more flow to come into my life. It allowed things to move and to circulate and I saw more beauty and more joy and more love than I normally did.
I also know that when I am in flow abundance seems to come from out of thin air. Clients find e in ways I would never be able to predict. As I have said before I met one client at my sons sports day.
Allowing flow or being in the flow to me is about being opening. It is about continually being aware of yourself and how open or how closed you are.
I hope this has given you something to think about and that you will make yourself some dowsing rods (it is very easy). I also have lots of resources, courses, blogs, podcasts on my website which I will not in the comments you can also contact me on there should you wish to hire me as your coach and we can arrange a free chemistry call.
So much love from me to you.
On my consciousness journey authentic power and the people who demonstrate it have been the things that has most inspired me. When I first trained as a coach a decade ago I became fascinated how change can be created on a really large scale. There are many examples of massive change over the years but only a few people have done it peacefully. Some of the people that have managed this are Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.
Having lived in South Africa Nelson Mandela is the person I have been most inspired by. From what I have read and watched who he was when he came out of prison was a very powerful person but not in the way we normally think of power. He spoke about forgiveness but he didn't just play lip service to it you could see in the way he was, what he spoke about and who he was being that forgiveness had happened on an incredibly deep level, but it wasn’t just forgiveness that made him so powerful. I have listed some of the traits that he demonstrated but this list is not definitive;
I find it incredible that we all know the above traits are important. They are listed in most companies visions or values yet very few people really know the power of them. Nelson Mandela had immense power and he used this power to change a nation of people that hated each other. People that had done atrocious things to each other and killed each other. He managed to unite those people so that they were under the same vision of a united rainbow nation. Watching from the sidelines and being part of some of it, this change didn't happen through force. It happened because of who Nelson Mandela was Being.
I remember watching him at the 1995 rugby world cup held in South Africa. He came onto the pitch and greeted the players and he was beaming. At that time the South African rugby team was still mainly made up of white men but Nelson Mandela seemed so completely at ease and so incredibly happy and natural. Who he was Being when he walked onto that field united everyone watching the match. I have seen other leaders try to emulate what he did that day and there is always something missing. I believe it is because Nelson Mandela was being authentic he was not putting on a show and I believe that authenticity is incredibly powerful and most certainly by its nature not something you can fake.
When I first became interested in this I couldn't find a word for this type of power. The closest I could get was calling it “Personal Power” but i've now realised that the true word is Authentic Power.
Although I only know of a very few people that have demonstrated this power I believe that we can all learn to become more authentically powerful and if more of us in this world could learn these skills then our world would be so much more peaceful. I know that the vision of world peace is a bit of a cliché but if we were able to live more from this space then world peace would become more of a reality. As Gandhi says - “be the change you want to see in the world”. Change starts with in each of us.
I don't think that authentic power is out of the reach of the rest of us or that we can't strive for it or attain it in different parts of our lives. At it’s core I think authentic power is about creating space for your being. And what I mean by this is knowing yourself beyond your identity knowing your truth, your soul, your essence and being able to Be from that place no matter the circumstances or who you were with. Knowing yourself so well that there was no doubt just alignment and clarity. Your authentic power would be very different from Nelson Mandela because you wouldn't be inspired by the same things that he was. You would be inspired by your own values your own purpose. When I talk about authentic power it always comes back to the definition of creating space for your being. I believe that inside all of us we have a spark and I call it our truth, our essence or our soul. To me this spark inside of us is a spark of all that is. It's a spark of source and I believe that our journey here on earth is to reconnect with that, to reconnect with the truth of who we are to reconnect with the truth of the universe of the collective consciousness all around us and to live from that space to live from inspiration to live with alignment to live with gratitude and to live our lives with purpose and curiosity and fulfilment. For us to do this we need to connect back to this space of allowing our being to Be. And for that we need to shift from the subconscious egotistical automated way of being into a more conscious self aware way of being that's in alignment because everything that we're looking for - bliss, fulfilment, purpose, and value in ourselves it’s all only achievable when we live more consciously and when we hold space for our Being.
I do not profess to always walk this path, I am by no means a Nelson Mandela, Gandhi or anyone like that, but I try. And as I go along and I look back over my life I can see year on year that although I might stumble and I might have a wobble and sometimes those wobbles are quite major that I am still going in the right direction. And that's why I know that these things that I am talking about work. These tools that I share, these ideas and inspirations they’re things that my clients use and I see the most amazing transformations in their lives. And the things that I use, practice, and play with work in my life as well.
There is too much in the journey into authentic power to be able to put in this blog but if you want to start this journey I would recommend that you first of all connect to your Being. You need to be able to know the truth of you before you can hold space for it. There are a number of meditations you can use and the app InsightTimer has thousands of mediations you can have a look through otherwise I created a meditation about connecting to your truth/soul - Connecting To Your Soul Mediation it should help you to connect to that aspect of yourself. Holding space for your being is about seeing the beauty in yourself and being true to yourself and not wavering when other people come into your life. It's not about buying into other people's reality and it's about trusting in your own reality and in yourself. The more fully that you can step into this the more fully you can stand in this space and the more powerful you will be. The beauty about this power is it cannot be misused because when you're standing in the space of love and the space of truth and the space of connection only truth and love and connection can come through. There is a story I love. It is about an orange and how if you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. If you squeeze a lemon, lemon juice comes out. And how the same is true of us. If we are squeezed what we are inside is what is squeezed out. If we're still stuck in a subconscious egotistical automated way of being where we believe our programs and our beliefs and we think they are real then when we get rattled and we get squeezed what comes out of us is the pain, hurts and anger. The more we shift into this conscious way of being into authentic power then when we get squeezed what's inside of us is love, passion, beautiful passion, joy and bliss is what is released and we share it with the world. I see Nelson Mandela got to a place in his life that when things squeezed him and he got bumped that what came out of him was love and compassion and the ability to see the beauty in others to see the spark, the truth inside everyone else. When you can see it this truth in you then you can see it in somebody else and then everybody in the world that you come into contact with is a joyous connection.
I hope you enjoyed this rather rambling blog on Authentic Power, I have only just scraped the surface of it and will dive deeper in the future.
So much love from me to you