One of the areas I am most passionate about in consciousness is the difference between force and power. I find it fascinating as every situation in life gives me an opportunity to develop my understanding of this concept and practice its application. When I talk of power in this context I am talking about your inner power, that mysterious ability to create your life the way that you want it.
The important thing to remember is that force will always be met with resistance whereas power will be accepted. If you look at all of the things that a “war” has been declared on you can clearly see they have escalated and been met with even more resistance. We have a war on drugs, a war on crime, a war on poaching, a war on terror. In all of these cases the thing that a war has been declared on has increased, so surly this method does not work.
I can’t say I have all of the answers however there is an experiment that you can try which demonstrates so clearly how this works, (I have spoken about this in the blog on love. This is because your inner power is a form of love)
a) Partner (it doesn’t matter who as long as they can use their arms)
b) A good imagination
Stand facing each other with both of you bending your elbows and holding your hands parallel to the ground. Stand close enough so that your partner can place their hands on the inside of yours. You are going to repeat this twice however don’t tell your partner what you are thinking at each time until after the experiment. All they need to know is that when you push their hands together they must resist as hard as they can with the same strength both times.
What you are going to be doing is changing your thoughts and feelings. In the first experiment you must just force their hands together with all of your might. In the second attempt take a moment to think of one of the happiest memories you have, a time when you felt love and connection. For me it was standing on the end of a jetty over the ocean the sun had just risen and as I stood there a pod of dolphins swam past. That moment filled me with such love and awe and I find it easy to get back the feelings from that moment; when you are in this space push your hands firmly together maintaining the same thoughts and feelings.
I have done this with 100’s of people in numerous workshops and the findings are 99% accurate. What happens is that it is easier for you to push the person’s hands together when you are in a space of power/love, in fact depending on the strength of the feeling generated it can seem effortless.
To me this proves that we have access to an inner power so much stronger than force all we need to do is develop it so that we can use it.
An example of this was when I needed to make changes to some of my employee’s roles. The nature of the business had changed and I needed them to perform some different functions for the company to run. Initially I approached the situation by saying that they would have to do these tasks. This was met with stubborn refusal and resistance. I then stepped back and thought about my approach realised that I had been using force and tried to figure out how I could approach the situation from the perspective of power. I then spoke to them, explaining the reasons behind that change; I told them that I would love for them to continue with the company but that it was ultimately their choice. We needed people who would be willing to take on these aspects of the job and if they chose not to I would understand however I would have to find someone else to take their place. This sounds harsh and as if I am coming from a place of force, however it was who I was being in the conversation that made all of the difference. I was being someone who had passed total choice on to my employees with no expectations. My employees decided to adapt willingly and put all of their energy into the new functions. They even came back at a later date and informed me that they had grown to really love the new elements of their position. True power has no expectations and does not make the other person wrong.
I hope you have enjoyed this blog and that I have been able to clearly show you the difference so that you might go out and start to experiment with it in your own life.