Should you choose your friends for what you want to achieve in life?
When I first heard that some people actually chose their friends and connections based on what they wanted to achieve, I have to say I was quite shocked. My sense of loyalty was aggravated and I thought it was a shallow way to interact with people. However since my first introduction to this idea I have to say I have warmed to it for the following reasons…..
1. If you are committed to growing as a person then the people you initially start out with are not all going to embrace the same journey as you. If they are not committed to this journey then you will find that they feel threatened by the changes that you make to yourself and might actively try to dissuade you from carrying on with your journey. Think for instance of a drug addict who hangs around with other drug addicts (yes, this is an extreme example but true of any group). If he/she decides to clean up do you think it would be easier or harder to do it in the company of those that are still taking drugs? My guess is that it would be virtually impossible for that person to stay their course. The people you spend time with bring you to their level, unless you have incredible inner strength which most of us don’t.
2. The people you spend time with have an effect on your thoughts and what you think is possible. For instance if you were born into a family that was made up of doctors and lawyers and you decided to study fine art instead there would most likely be huge resistance from the other members of your family (unless they were particularly progressive). They would worry that you might not make it in life and that making money being an artist would be too hard and so on. However if you had been born into a family of artists and you decided to do fine art I would imagine you would get a huge amount of support. To act against what others think especially in your immediate environment can be incredibly hard and I have witnessed many people who have done what others have thought they should do rather than following their own knowing, leading to unhappiness and lack of fulfillment. If you surround yourself with people who have already done what you want to do and know it is possible then your decisions and actions will be that much easier and more successful.
3. Lastly, if you interact with people who know more than you about what you want to do you cannot help but learn from them. You will probably not get inside knowledge on finance from a secretary (although there may be some that do have this experience so please excuse the analogy if this is the case) so if you want to know about financing projects, find someone who has already done it and been successful. This part is very important- don’t ask someone who has not achieved what you want to, ask someone who has been successful. Otherwise you will be copying their mistakes rather than their successes. If you want to find out about being an entrepreneur, find one that has already done it and been successful or if you can’t find one read books that have been written by them. I live in Botswana and we have a very small population of two million in a country the size of France. I haven’t always been able to connect with people who I admire and want to learn from however, I have been able to buy their books. There is no excuse in this day and age of knowledge.
Dr Bruce Lipton a cell biologist discovered that it was the environment that altered the cells more than their hereditary disposition. So don’t blame you circumstances -go and change them.