Today I want to talk about playing with the universe, and it is a playground. It is a joyful place to be the problem is that we are brought up not to know how to and we are brought up not to believe that it is. Instead we are taught that it is a serious place and that we need to work hard and take ourselves seriously. When you watch children they don’t take life seriously there's a curiosity a joy and lightness.
When I look back on when I was a child I was a phenomenal a creator, I do not mean this to brag I am sure if you look back at your childhood you will find you were too. I loved horses but we had very little money and certainly not enough to own or even lease a horse. Yet my inability to see limitations allowed me to create the experience of owning a pony without actually having to own it. We heard about someone’s son who had out grown his pony. He was a typical Thelwell pony. He was a strawberry rhone Section B Welsh pony named Concord and he was perfect! They didn't want to give him up because they loved him dearly, so I got to look after him, ride him, take him to pony club and care for him completely free as if he was my own.
There were so many things that I was able to create when I was young because I just enjoyed it . I found life so amazingly interesting, and what I want to share with you today is the thought that - if we were able to take life less seriously maybe we wouldn't get so hurt or feel so defeated when things don't turn out the way we want them to. Instead of seeing ourselves as failures or that live is hard or working against us we would shrug and think oh well let me try that again. It would be more like a game just a skill we hadn’t mastered yet rather than the way life is. It would be like learning to ride a bicycle or learning to walk. If you fall over you wouldn’t beat yourself up and say “I am an awful person,” “I failed I'll never be able to do this”! Instead you would giggle and bounce back up and try again.
In the past I didn't truly understand how creation worked. I thought that if I got the creation process right then Universe/Source would deliver what I wanted and it would be perfect. If it wasn’t then I felt that there was something wrong with me, that I was ungrateful, undeserving, selfish, or not good enough. I didn't realise that what I was receiving was just a reflection of the level that I was vibrating at and what I was holding onto in my energy body. Now I realised that there's such joy in creation and there is such juiciness and such wonder and that if I don’t like what I created I can change direction, throw it back (metaphorically) or try something else.
Where did we lose our curiosity and wonder at life? Why do we take it so personally?
In the past I have been quite a dab hand at creating boyfriends. I have done it twice.
1, When I created the first one I had a list. I was very specific! He had to be taller than me, a non smoker, a handyman (the men in my family are not really very handy), caring and I can't remember what else but it was extensive and very detailed. The person that came into my life ticked every single box. It was amazing but the relationship was a disaster. I thought I had failed. I remember feeling very specifically that I must have done something wrong. I tried so hard to be the right person and I punished myself because I believed that I was the failure in the relationship. I believed I was the one that was causing it to be so awful.
2, A few years later I decided I would try again and I created another list, but this time it was a very different list. Instead of having physical attributes my new list was more about experiences that I wanted to have with this person. I wanted to enjoy dancing with him. I wanted to feel loved by him and I can’t even remember what else was on the list but again it was quite detailed. The next man I met ticked all of these items on my list, but this time it was different. Right from the start even though there was an instant connection I took it a bit slower and when I was dating him there came a point when I realised that something wasn’t quite right, something was off . Unfortunately I still hadn’t quite gotten it so I ignored this feeling because I thought that since the Universe/Source has brought me this person he must be the right one. I now realise he showed up i my life because of where I was vibrating at that point in my life. I didn't have to go out with him and when I sensed that there was something off I could have ended it then. I could have said you know what this isn't going to work for me. If could have seen it for what it was - I had had a wobble on my bicycle and just needed more practice at creating. I could have said “okay I know I have attracted this person because of where I am vibrating at and there's something not quite right. Let me have a little play with what is sticking and see where my vibration is off. Let me recalibrate and then go back and see what's out there in the world that meets where I want to be”. I knew where I wanted to be with my vibration but I hadn't quite gotten there yet, I hadn't fine-tuned it enough. As it happened I lived with the guy for close to 3 years and it took me years afterwards to even contemplate dating again. This was because I took it so seriously when it needn’t have been. I think I have gotten there in the end but I hope that this blog helps you to get there a little faster than I did and to enjoy the ride a little more.
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So much love from me to you