Until about 10 years ago I was unaware that our thoughts could create our reality or that we could change our reality by changing our belief systems (programming). My fascination is with personal power by this I mean the power that you can harness that allows you to achieve truly amazing things. For example the power that Nelson Mandela used to peacefully guide a divided country (South Africa) that had so much hatred in it to unity. The same power Gandhi used to defeat the British Empire without ever using violence. I have dedicated my life towards the study of this power and to share it in a way that others can use it should they wish.
In the first few blogs that I write we will be focused on exploring how we operate as human beings. I feel that it is important to first create awareness in this so that you are then more able to utilise the solutions I will give later. Would you agree that to become a master at something you need to first understand how it works? Let us take computer operating for example. Some of us are better at operating computers than others (Yes or no?) and some are so exceptional that they can programme computers to do whatever they require. The same is true of our minds. The majority of you know how to operate your mind (I bet that is a relief). Then there are those that have mastered their minds and can program their mind to achieve whatever they want in their lives. This is the art of awareness/consciousness how conscious a person is, comes down to how well they are able to operate their hardware (mind). Let us explore these three states of mind further.
How our mind works
For the most part of your life you are being used by your biological survival system which means that you are not actually directing your life. Below I will explain how this all works and create awareness of how you can start to move past these programs to truly empowering your life.
You have 3 layers to your mind:
The subconscious then uses these programs to sort the information that comes in (from your senses) if something worked in the past it is hardwired into your emotions, behaviour and reactions as a way to ensure your survival.
Our conscious mind then uses this information (feelings, emotions etc.) to base decisions on. Can you see that we can only decide what to do from the programming that we have acquired?
The problem is that these programs are created unconsciously in response to pain (or pleasure) and we don’t consciously design the reactions so many of these programs actually work against where you want your life to be going.
For instance let us imagine that as a child you were incredibly clever and as a result you were teased and bullied. You felt unacceptable, like there was something wrong with you, misunderstood and that standing out equalled great pain (threat to survival). To protect yourself from further pain your unconscious mind develops a program using the information relating to this incident and it links it to your fight flight and freeze mechanisms, which get triggered at any time you sense you are standing out from the crowd. The next time you do stand out information comes in through your subconscious mind and the program is triggered. Your fight flight and freeze mechanisms are activated. You start to feel anxious, you feel short of breath, your heart starts to race and your higher thinking mind gets shut down (you don’t need this to make a quick escape). You will have a number of ways to react and once you choose one this will become your escape of choice. It might be by keeping quiet, not sharing your ideas, leaving the room or saying something stupid just to fit in. Whilst these actions do keep you physically safe they will not be supporting you to achieve success in life as you will have hidden your intelligence so well that no one will be able to see it! You might even start to believe that you are stupid! Reasons like this are why so many people want success in some area or another and yet never seem to get there.
And here is the good news! The more conscious you become the more able you are to notice these limiting programs and the more choices you have to rewrite them, which I will come to later. There is one more thing that it is important for you to be aware of.
Fear of Change
Your programming is also one of the reasons that change is so scary for most people. If you base all of your actions on programs that are already built into your system what do you think will happen when you set off to do something that there is no program for? You have got it, huge red flags will be raised and your fight flight and freeze mechanisms will be activated. If there is no information and programming for your unconscious and subconscious minds to access relating to what you are about to do it does not know if you are going to be “safe” this is why feelings of anxiety, fear, doubt and panic can be felt at any point you choose to create a big change in your life, and why people who are clearly not in a situation that is good for them stay rather than moving on. Now that you are aware of this you will recognise these feelings in yourself when do decide to make changes in your life and you can then choose to act despite what you are feeling.
The key to overcoming your programming is your conscious mind and your ability to make choices. The more conscious you become the more you will be able to recognise a program that is not supporting you, you can then choose to act in a different manner and change your destiny. And yes this is easier said than done as quite often you are not supported in these changes by your thoughts or feelings. In the next blog I will be looking at these and showing you how you can act in spite of them.
Lots of love Britt
Fear…… the feeling of panic and nausea, your heart racing out of control, hot sweaty hands and formless words.
Fear can overtake you at the most inconvenient of times, and it is something that you most likely avoid if at all possible. Yet when was the last time you felt truly alive, the sensation of your body tingling with a sense of new found power and accomplishment? Just think and find it before continuing.
I would imagine that it was right after you did something that you found frightening something that was outside your comfort zone!?
Life just would not be worth living if it wasn’t for a good dose of fear. Think about any novel you have read or movie that you have watched. If it doesn’t have some sort of fear inducing scene one where you want to know what happens would you read or watch it? Of course it is a lot easier to experience the fear of lost love, rejection, failure, death, etc. through a book or movie than it is to live through it and if it gets too much there is always the option to switch off or close the book, yet it is in conquering the feeling of fear that we get to feel truly alive and free. Would you not agree that fear traps you and limits your life?
Now for the science: Fear is actually just another emotion. It is linked to the reptilian part of the brain which triggered activates your flight fight and freeze mechanisms. This means that fear feels incredibly real due to the physical sensations that accompany it. Fear is a very important mechanism to ensure we don’t kill ourselves. If we didn’t fear big scary animals our species would have died out a very long time ago. The challenge is that in our modern society we have learnt so many new fears that we can find ourselves trapped in a life that is blocked by fears we have created. As I mentioned in my first blog our unconscious mind develops programs to keep us physically safe and it uses emotion to write these programs. So if you once got a fright when someone screamed because there was a spider (or you saw a scary spider movie) you would be telling your unconscious mind that spiders are scary it had better quickly write a program to protect you from spiders. After this each time you see a spider your unconscious mind would trigger your reptilian brain and your fight flight and freeze mechanisms will be activated, and when you respond in a fearful way you are strengthening the program and confirming it and so it goes on. I mentioned that we learn most of our fears.
When we are born we only have 2 fears:
It is important for us to realise what fears are real and which ones are in our way. A fear of snakes serves you if you live where there are poisonous snakes yet a fear of rejection will most likely stand in the way of you having fulfilling relationships.
Our top fears are sometimes things we are not even aware we are afraid of. These are ones that have come out again and again with people I have worked with and they can translate into a fear of heights, public speaking etc. In no particular order:
The way to get past this is by following these steps and using courage.
I have also realised that freedom is on the other side of fear. So it is only by passing through your greatest fears that you will finally find your greatest freedom. My greatest fear is of falling yet my greatest dream is to be able to fly. To achieve my dream I need to conquer my fear. Incidentally flying symbolises freedom for me. I recently made my first step in this direction by doing a gorge jump at Victoria Falls with Tristen my eldest son. I don’t know how I managed to get my feet to move to the end of the very gang plank looking jumping platform yet I was determined. Luckily for me the rope had quite a bit of tension so once I was on the end I didn’t really have much choice but to go. My whole body ceased up as I fell and when the rope caught I was so incredibly glad we had done it. It also formed an amazing bond between Tristen and me as well and giving me huge confidence in other areas of my life. I mean what are a few phone calls when you have jumped off a cliff???? Apparently Tristen wants to do a parachute jump for his birthday and he wants me to do it with him so I guess that will be the next step!!!
What I haven’t mentioned and what we will look at another day is that what frightens us more than the negative things are the positive things like success, true love, being truly powerful or being great.
Good luck and just remember to challenge yourself otherwise you might as well curl up and give up.
Love you lots
I have written about this before and I am most likely going to write about it again and that is Integrity! If there is one thing I wish for my clients it is that if they walk away with nothing else from my sessions that they really understand the importance of integrity in their lives.
If you want one hack that can change your life this is it.
Once you understand this then you will start to take back your own power and the sky becomes the limit. It is the very goo that cements you to your most wondrous potential. People might know what they want in their lives but all too often they do not know how to get there. Integrity is the how!
To have integrity means you keep your word to others, but even more importantly you keep your word to yourself. All to often we worry about what others think of us but we are blind to the importance of what we think of ourselves. And it is what we think of ourselves that others really see.
For instance if you have been cheating on your diet and exercise and consequently not getting the results you want you will find that no one will really believe that you have been trying your hardest. The results are there for all to see. I realise that this example is fairly unsubtle but the theory is the same for everything. If you tell someone that you respect them but are always late they will start to doubt your word. And this is soooo important!
Your word is an extension of yourself. Ah duh! If people cannot trust your word then they cannot trust you. Also if you do not trust your word you will not trust yourself and consequently your self-belief will also go down. If you have ever had a low self-belief you will know that it is very hard to move forward without addressing this first. But… there is good news all of this can be remedied and it is through developing your integrity.
People who have high integrity are known to have high morals. Because once they commit to something they stand by it no matter what. The most wondrous thing about integrity is that once you develop it, it is as if life recognises this and starts to bring little synchronicities into your life.
This happened for me earlier this week. My intention for this year is to look for ways I can give back to society. So far since moving here I have struggled to connect with any charities. Then on Tuesday I had booked the front room at the Coworking Hub in Bath for a ConsciousCafe event only to arrive and it was already full. On talking to the event coordinator I found out that he runs Local Giving and knows all of the charities in Bath. He has offered to send my details to them and from this I hope to find some that would like to work with me. All very exciting :)
Having experienced first hand the effects of having integrity it is the one understanding that I always priorities. This is not to say that I don’t slip from time to time, but if life is going against me it is the first thing I check to get myself back on track.
Integrity is the key to your door for success. Use it or lose it :)
How integrity relates to success is simple. Everything we create in life from chairs to babies starts with a thought, then a feeling and then action.
Thought - Feeling - Action = result
If you want success in anything you have to follow your thoughts and feelings with action. It is developing integrity to do what you say you are going to do that will determine your success in anything in life.
So how do you develop it? It is actually quite simple. You become more aware of what you commit to and you ensure that you keep your commitments both to yourself and to others. If you really want to improve you can set yourself commitments and be in action of them just make sure that they do not streatch yourself too far as you will be challenged in equal proportions.
Good luck with this if you are unsure just remember that your subconscious is programmed to doubt things it does not have data for. So promise yourself to do this for a month and then if you see a change you can decide if it is as wondrous as I have made it out to be.
Wishing you a fabulous month
8 Easy steps to calm yourself down
I was contacted by a person suffering from extreme anxiety. In such a situation I would advise a person to seek help, this person has apparently done that with no success and is likely to lose their job if nothing changes so I offered to blog about it in the hope that it might offer some relief. What I share with you in these blogs is there to support you although a blog does have its limits so remember at all times you are responsible for yourselves and if you find no relief or are having serious symptoms please arrange to see someone if not me then another professional.
Anxiety is a common experience in todays society with 8.2 million cases being reported in the UK in 2013 and 40 million adults in the US suffering from it.
At its core anxiety is fear, it is normally a fear that something could happen. I want you to really think about this. It is not about what is happening but about a future event that might or might not happen. When you feel anxious your awareness goes into your mind and your thoughts whizz around and around so fast that you cant make head nor tail of them. It is this over thinking that causes stress and anxiety. The only thing that causes us anxiety are our thoughts about something.
How we work as humans is that we have a thought about something, this creates a feeling (emotion) in us which should prompt us to act. What happens when we are afraid is that the thoughts and emotions build up but we don't take action upon them or if you do the action can make things worse because it comes from a place of fear. It is like turning the heat up on a pressure cooker and closing the valve. Eventually something is going to go very wrong.
There are many different things that you can do to try to help elevate the feelings of anxiety, (let off steam), I am going to give you a number of them and it will be up to you to try different ones out until you find what works for you.
Find out what is causing your anxiety - anxiety does not come from nothing. There will be something you are worrying about. Something you think might happen, or something could have happened to trigger a past memory and you are worrying that the same thing will happen again. If you have had a trauma in your past, I strongly suggest you speak to a professional as exploring it without support might have dire consequences. However if this is not the case then find some quiet time when you wont be disturbed and get a pen and paper and brainstorm what you are afraid of. It is important that you keep going until you feel a release. Keep asking yourself what do I think will happen in this situation and write down the first thing that pops into your mind, don't over think it just allow yourself to follow the thread of ideas. If your mind wanders use the question “What am I afraid will happen?” to bring you back. You will know you have reached the release point as you might experience a release of emotion, tears, tingling, understanding or something along these lines. As I said keep doing this over and over again until you get to the release. Once you have reached this release give yourself time to breath through the emotions you are experiencing and then in a couple of hours revisit the situation in your mind and ask yourself - “when I believe this threat how do I behave?” and write down your answer. Now ask yourself ”if I wasn't afraid of this how would I behave?” And write that down too. In my experience we create what we fear and the behaviour you would have taken in response to your fear and anxiety would normally create the situation you feared. This is where conscious choice comes in. From now on you have a choice to follow your old pattern and create from fear and anxiety or take a new route and create from conscious choice, by choosing to take action on what you want rather than what you don't want. I will go over this again in taking action.
Exercise - Taking exercise releases endorphins and it also takes you out of your mind and thoughts. I find if I am over thinking something and I make an effort to take regular exercise I always feel much better. The type of exercise is up to you but I would suggest doing something you enjoy.
Healthy eating - I know this can be a pain and everyone is going on about it. But what you eat becomes part of who you are so you cant ignore it. There are certain foods and drinks that exacerbate the feelings of anxiety. Some of these are caffeine, nicotine, drugs, alcohol, sugar and some additives such as MSG. I have just done a Whole30 detox diet for 30 days and I don't ever want to go back to how I felt before, yet I thought I was doing ok before I started it. Be aware if you do cut one of these substances out as you might feel worse before you feel better so read up on it and make sure you are prepared for it.
Meditation / Mindfulness - As I have mentioned anxiety is caused by over thinking both of these techniques will help you to step out of your thoughts so that you can get some relief. I went for a run this morning and as the universe is so incredibly helpful I was myself feeling a bit anxious. It was as if I needed to feel that way just so I could have the insight I did! Anyway I digress, the insight I had is that whenever you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts/anxiety just focus on your breathing. If you focus on your breathing you cant focus on your thoughts and after a while of relieving your mind you will start to feel much better. You might even find it has passed altogether. This in itself is a form of mediation or mindfulness.
Taking conscious action - As anxiety is a response to something we fear is going to happen we will tend to alter our behaviour. Taking conscious action will help you to change your reality. In fact taking action is the only thing that can change reality as we live in a physical world. It does not matter how many times you wish things were different or how many times you think them different nothing will change until you take action. As I explained above focus not on taking action from fear and anxiety but from a place of what would you be doing to create your ideal outcome. Ask yourself “what needs to happen for you to have the outcome you want?” and take action on what comes up for you.
Get a good nights sleep - I know if you are anything like me everything just seems better after a good nights sleep. Make sure you go to bed early and do something relaxing before. Allow yourself time o unwind and relax; take a hot bath, read a good book (not a scary one) or listen to some relaxing music. Lack of sleep is the one thing that will throw me off my stride.
Write your thoughts down - I know I said you need to sleep well but if your thoughts are whizzing this might be impossible. have a handy little solution that I am sure you will have heard of before. Write your thoughts down. I know this sounds so simple that it seems untrue but it works. I have done it with hundreds of clients and it is instant relief. Write down what you are thinking about in bullet form and next to each bullet write down the action you choose to take in relation to each thought. After you have done this write down a time line for when you will have done it. If you feel you do not have enough time, prioritise. Choose the things you have to do and do them first slowly moving the less important things to the end of your list. I have found that while I think I have so many things that need to be done now! Actually that is never the case because when an emergency happens suddenly I can make space. So be brutal with yourself and give yourself time to breath.
Journaling/talking to someone - Sharing is under appreciated. There is nothing like sharing what you are going through even if you are simply sharing it with your journal. It is like the valve on your pressure cooker it lets off steam and it might be enough for you to move forward. Just make sure that who you choose to share with is someone who will support you and not add to your anxiety.
I am sure there are many more things you could do and if you can think of any I have missed I would love to hear from you. You can always contact me on FB https://www.facebook.com/BrittTanya or send me a message on Twitter -
Wishing you every happiness and a relaxing and peaceful month all my love Britt
A simple strategy to create success
I was at an event last night where I met some wonderful and very diverse people. Having lived in a country where what I do is a very new idea it was amazing to be in a room full of people who really got what I do and had each been following different people in my industry most of whom I had never heard of. However as the night went on it became clear that whilst the ideas and concepts that they had been introduced to had already changed their lives so that they felt more positive they had not radically changed the abundance of their lives. So I decided to write a little blog to help people go from understanding to experiencing results.
To start with it is important to understand how anything we create is created even the things we don't want to create. The process is quite simple; thought - emotion - action, well on paper it is simple! This is actually what my book is written about and that will go into it in much more depth but for the purpose of this blog these are the basics.
Your mind is programmed to be suspicious this is how it has evolved over time in order to keep you alive, if you trusted everything you would walk in front of a bus just trusting it would stop, and that would not be good for evolution. So you might hear of a wonderful idea but before you believe it you will need evidence that this idea works. Now here is the catch. To find this evidence your subconscious will go into its memory banks and search of any pervious experience that validates what you have discovered. If this is the first time you have heard this idea there will be no evidence in your memory banks so automatically you will begin you doubt that what you have heard is true (this is evolution trying to keep you safe). If you want to find positive evidence then it will be up to you to consciously test the theory out. This is going to take faith and a lot of determination. You are going to need to take action in spite of your thinking and feeling, and you are going to need to trick your subconscious mind!
So here is how to do this. Ask yourself if you were to believe this wonderful idea what actions would you take that are different to your normal actions. Write a big long list of them. Then choose a few that you think you can take on that will stretch you 20% out of your comfort zone. You are welcome to stretch yourself more than this but be warned the more you stretch yourself the more you are going to have to push past your own resistance. For most people 20% will get them traveling in a much more positive direction with not too much discomfort.
This is the hard part. Your mind is going to come up with all sorts of thoughts such as; “it wont really matter if I don't do this today”, “I can always start tomorrow”, “what is really that wrong with my life anyway?”, “This is not going to work so why am I trying”, “who am I kidding this is me nothing ever works for me” and so on. You are going to need to ignore all of these thoughts and be totally committed to your choice of actions. These thoughts are your subconscious minds way of trying to keep you safe by doing what you have always done. Only when you take action repetitively will you start to see results and only when you see results will your subconscious mind have new evidence to evaluate the wonderful idea you heard about.
This is very simple really, if you want to change your life take actions that you know will move you in the right direction. If you cant think of any look around you or Google other people who are successful in what you want to be successful in. Find out what they are doing differently and start to apply it to your life. It sounds easy but believe you me when you start to work against you thoughts and emotions it will be anything but easy this is when you are going to need courage and determination.
This is generally why getting a coach gets such great results because they are there in your corner cheering you on every step of the way and not letting you listen to yourself. If you cant afford a coach find a friend or someone you know and maybe you can help each other. Be selective you don't want to chose someone who will let you off the hook easily you want someone who will be tough on you and get you to keep taking action.
I really hope this helps some people take a leap of faith into living the life of their dreams. Dreaming is the start of a wonderful life but it takes action to make that life a reality.
Love you loads Britt