Anger is a truly phenomenal energy, and if you have ever experienced it you will know how devastating its ability to destroy can be. It can destroy careers, relationships, families and even the body of the one who carries it.
Everyone will have at one time or another experienced the feelings of anger, like a bubbling, acidic, hot overwhelming energy that makes you just want to lose control and let fly, scream, lash out or hurt someone or something. This feeling can be as terrifying for the person experiencing it as it can be for the person receiving it. Even in a small child a temper tantrum can leave its parents at quite a loss as to how to deal with it, and just imagine what it must feel like for a child to experience an adult losing their temper!? It could scar them for life and also teach them that this is how to resolve problems. We learn best from observing those around us.
Anger is a very natural emotion and one that we all feel. As like all emotions it is just a signal. In the case of anger it is informing you that there is something in your life that is not working. There is nothing wrong with anger it is only what we use it for that can cause harm. It can also be hugely beneficial! I was once bullied at school and finally lost it. I grabbed the ring leader by the throat (after she had done the same to me) shoved her up against a van and screamed all sorts of things at her, she never bothered me again, in extreme cases like this anger can save your life and let people know they have pushed you too far.
We are all born with 2 energy states, and develop a 3rd later in life.
1. Clear focused energy, we feel blissful and joyful
2. Highly energized, we feel angry, passionate
3. De-energized, you feel lethargic, resistant, heavy and can even feel depressed.
The 1st is your natural way of being. It is when everything is working in your life. The 2nd is when your fight flight freeze mechanism is activated in a part of your brain known as your reptilian brain, releasing adrenalin (energy) to allow you to tackle something that is not working in your life. The 3rdyou will have learnt when you were around 2/3. Most parents are unaware that they need to support their toddlers in fully expressing themselves without screaming and instead try to shut them up in any way they can. What this does is it teaches you to suppress your anger and your energy and teaches you that you do not have the ability to resolve what is not working in your life.
The cause of anger is an unmet expectation.
· An expectation that someone should love you
· An expectation that someone should not take things from you
· An expectation that people should treat you with respect
· An expectation that people should understand you
· An expectation that someone should hand their project in on time etc. etc .etc.
What I want to show you today is that anger is just a signal telling you what is not working in your environment and that if you just allow yourself space you can see the opposite of your anger and it is here that your passion lies. You see without anger you cannot have passion and it is the skill of turning anger into passion that will ignite your life and bring purpose to what you do.
Behind your greatest, irritation, frustration, anger lies your greatest passion. For me the thing that really makes my blood boil is misuse of power (force) in any form, bullying, physical abuses, mental abuse, leaders thinking that they can just rough shod over people because they are in a position of authority, the list goes on. Mainly it is people in positions of authority dictating their beliefs onto others and using force. What I realised was that the opposite of this for me was true power, learning how to use inner power and being able to share it with others so that they too could learn how to use it. Inner power is everything that force is not. It is inspiring, uniting, liberating, energizing and it is so much stronger than force, yet so few people have any idea of how to use it. So instead of churning inside and rebelling against force I decided to channel all my anger into passion and learn everything I could about personal power and how to apply it. This has become my passion. What I am saying is that you need to find the opposite of your anger to release your passion.
The following steps will help you to move from anger into passion
1. To use anger in a positive way you first need to practise pausing before reacting. Just taking a deep breath and stopping to think……..
2. ……..What would be the opposite of this what would I really love there to be?
3. Then Act with Passion
a) If the expectation that you should have money (and you don’t) is what is causing your anger then channelling this energy into a passion for creating money will be the answer
b) If the expectation is that your partner should speak to you with respect (and they don’t) then what you need to do is express yourself fully. I do not mean you need to shout and scream (then you would also be being disrespectful) rather share with them how you feel when they do this.
c) Instead of responding with reactive force Mahatma Gandhi shares that to lovingly go on strike can be a way forward. This does not mean withdrawing your love rather withdrawing your actions.
One thing that we all have is choice and when we feel angry we can choose how we want to act. At first it can seem a challenge however with practice it becomes easier and easier.
Depression is suppressed anger. The way out of depression is:
a) Acknowledge that this is the energy state you find yourself in.
b) Acknowledge what is not working in your life
c) Take action to resolve what is not working in your life. At first this can seem impossible, however if you start with a little action you will gain more and more energy until you can once again take on bigger actions.
Finally it is important to be aware that force (anger) creates resistance, and can actually exacerbate the situation. Globally we continually use force to tackle things we perceive as wrong. For example we have
· A war on terror
· A war on poachers
· A war against drugs
· We fight the misuse of alcohol
All this creates is more resistance and more anger. Mother Teresa said: “I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me”. She knew that something done in anger only causes more anger and that to truly overcome something you need to use love and passion.
Wishing you a passionate week
With eternal love