Everything in the world is made up of energy and vibrates at a certain frequency, you do too and so do I. As humans we can increase our frequency of vibration or decrease it. When think of the state of flow to me it’s about how open or how closed we are to the flow of life (the energy of life). It is also about the frequency that our energy vibrate at and the higher our energy vibrates the more it aligns with Source and the frequency of Source.
For me getting into flow is about being in alignment with Source (I call it Source you might call it God or Allah or something else. Please substitute Source for what ever you are most comfortable with) the more open you are the more you allow Source to flow through you and the higher you vibrate. This allowing of the flow is something that we are all able to do and the more that you play in this space the more you can feel when you are open and allowing flow or not. I can feel when I am closing myself off because I get tight in my chest. That is not to say that you will become tight in this area, you might get a tightness somewhere else in your body and it might depend on whatever it is that is causing you to close.
You might feel your self close when you experience something in your world that you have resistance to. Such as something that makes you angry or sad or anything that causes you to feel negative in any way. This happens because subconsciously you will want to protect your idea of yourself, your identity. The part of yourself that you have created during this life time that is made up of what you like and don’t like what you think is wrong or right, the things you fear and love the things that you think make you You. You will also want to protect the core of who you are, your truth. The part of you that is eternal and part of Source you might call it your soul. Ironically this part of you doesn't need protecting because it is eternal but subconsciously you are programmed to believe it does need protecting. So, when something you feel threatens your happiness, your way of being, your life as you know it, or threatens you in any way your instinct is to close down and to close in and pull your energy inwards.
You can actually experiment with this with a couple of wire coat hangers (dowsing rods) I have created a video (I am sorry it isn’t great quality) that you can watch to show you how to do this - Playing With Your Energy and you can see how when you think positive thoughts your energy field opens and when you think negative thoughts your energy field closes.
You change your energy field often when you interact with other people. If you meet someone you don’t know or who you don’t feel 100% comfortable with you can become guarded and if you are with someone who you feel happy, relaxed, and safe with you will naturally open. Whether you are open or closed can affect the interactions that you have with people. It affects your relationships and your ability to connect with people. I am sharing this because you might not be aware of it but by sharing it with you hopefully now when you meet people
As you get better at consciously opening up or closing down this you might be able to consciously open up when you are with people that you feel you would normally automatically close off from. You can then observe how different relationships could be if you were able to be more open and how that effects your whole life.
Initially you might find you have resistance to opening up with people that you don't necessarily want to be open with. You might feel that by opening with them you will be vulnerable and that they might take advantage of you. I have written about Authentic Power and about holding space for your Being it is about being who you are irrespective of what's going on in the world and this ties in very much into what I am talking about here. It is about being able to be open irrespective of what somebody's doing but doing it from a space of power. It might take practice to be able to be open but not weak. When you get it right being open is actually a very powerful way to be. If you think of some truly authentically powerful people they were very open. People such as Nelson Mandela, Dr Wane Dyer and I have met some spiritual people who were able to do this too. It is about being unashamedly who you are all your glory and all your wonder and not changing this in response to the outside world. Allowing other people to be whoever they are. Not reacting to whatever it is that they're throwing at you or whatever emotion that they're projecting onto you. It is understanding that their emotions are not your emotions even if at times you might be able to feel it through what they are saying. It is their emotion and all you are doing is experiencing it. True power this authentic power is about holding the space, remaining open with love and compassion and allowing the other person to experience whatever they're experiencing.
As soon as you feel judgment, fear, or any negative thought towards the other person you immediately pull your energy in and you close yourself off. I am not saying that you should be open all the time I am only sharing with you so that you can start to play with it.
I actually had an incident with somebody I am very close to yesterday. They had some upsetting news and they wanted to be angry. I could feel that they were angry and they wanted to project that anger onto me and have a good old argument. I knew that, that is what they were trying to do and in knowing that and understanding that I was able to be with them with love and compassion. And every time they tried to bring me into an argument and to make it about whatever had happened and to release their anger and project it onto me I would just say - “I know that you're feeling angry and I know that whatever I say right now is going to make that anger worse, but know that I am here and I love you and I will always love you.” This allowed them to realise that I was not going to play their game. I was not going to close off and get pulled into an argument which would hurt us both, but I also didn’t make them being angry wrong either. It allowed this person to know that it's acceptable for them to feel whatever they were feeling and also to know that I would not allow them to influence who I chose to be.
Being in flow is so much more fun too. I did a little experiment a number of years ago (I think I might have shared it in another of my blogs but I am going to share it again). When I was driving I decided to let as many people in as I could. It someone was at a road junction when I came up to them I would let them in. I made it my intention to let people in and the more people that I let in the more I realised that other people let me in. Because I was coming from a space of love, joy and happiness and being open it allowed more flow to come into my life. It allowed things to move and to circulate and I saw more beauty and more joy and more love than I normally did.
I also know that when I am in flow abundance seems to come from out of thin air. Clients find e in ways I would never be able to predict. As I have said before I met one client at my sons sports day.
Allowing flow or being in the flow to me is about being opening. It is about continually being aware of yourself and how open or how closed you are.
I hope this has given you something to think about and that you will make yourself some dowsing rods (it is very easy). I also have lots of resources, courses, blogs, podcasts on my website which I will not in the comments you can also contact me on there should you wish to hire me as your coach and we can arrange a free chemistry call.
So much love from me to you.
On my consciousness journey authentic power and the people who demonstrate it have been the things that has most inspired me. When I first trained as a coach a decade ago I became fascinated how change can be created on a really large scale. There are many examples of massive change over the years but only a few people have done it peacefully. Some of the people that have managed this are Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr.
Having lived in South Africa Nelson Mandela is the person I have been most inspired by. From what I have read and watched who he was when he came out of prison was a very powerful person but not in the way we normally think of power. He spoke about forgiveness but he didn't just play lip service to it you could see in the way he was, what he spoke about and who he was being that forgiveness had happened on an incredibly deep level, but it wasn’t just forgiveness that made him so powerful. I have listed some of the traits that he demonstrated but this list is not definitive;
I find it incredible that we all know the above traits are important. They are listed in most companies visions or values yet very few people really know the power of them. Nelson Mandela had immense power and he used this power to change a nation of people that hated each other. People that had done atrocious things to each other and killed each other. He managed to unite those people so that they were under the same vision of a united rainbow nation. Watching from the sidelines and being part of some of it, this change didn't happen through force. It happened because of who Nelson Mandela was Being.
I remember watching him at the 1995 rugby world cup held in South Africa. He came onto the pitch and greeted the players and he was beaming. At that time the South African rugby team was still mainly made up of white men but Nelson Mandela seemed so completely at ease and so incredibly happy and natural. Who he was Being when he walked onto that field united everyone watching the match. I have seen other leaders try to emulate what he did that day and there is always something missing. I believe it is because Nelson Mandela was being authentic he was not putting on a show and I believe that authenticity is incredibly powerful and most certainly by its nature not something you can fake.
When I first became interested in this I couldn't find a word for this type of power. The closest I could get was calling it “Personal Power” but i've now realised that the true word is Authentic Power.
Although I only know of a very few people that have demonstrated this power I believe that we can all learn to become more authentically powerful and if more of us in this world could learn these skills then our world would be so much more peaceful. I know that the vision of world peace is a bit of a cliché but if we were able to live more from this space then world peace would become more of a reality. As Gandhi says - “be the change you want to see in the world”. Change starts with in each of us.
I don't think that authentic power is out of the reach of the rest of us or that we can't strive for it or attain it in different parts of our lives. At it’s core I think authentic power is about creating space for your being. And what I mean by this is knowing yourself beyond your identity knowing your truth, your soul, your essence and being able to Be from that place no matter the circumstances or who you were with. Knowing yourself so well that there was no doubt just alignment and clarity. Your authentic power would be very different from Nelson Mandela because you wouldn't be inspired by the same things that he was. You would be inspired by your own values your own purpose. When I talk about authentic power it always comes back to the definition of creating space for your being. I believe that inside all of us we have a spark and I call it our truth, our essence or our soul. To me this spark inside of us is a spark of all that is. It's a spark of source and I believe that our journey here on earth is to reconnect with that, to reconnect with the truth of who we are to reconnect with the truth of the universe of the collective consciousness all around us and to live from that space to live from inspiration to live with alignment to live with gratitude and to live our lives with purpose and curiosity and fulfilment. For us to do this we need to connect back to this space of allowing our being to Be. And for that we need to shift from the subconscious egotistical automated way of being into a more conscious self aware way of being that's in alignment because everything that we're looking for - bliss, fulfilment, purpose, and value in ourselves it’s all only achievable when we live more consciously and when we hold space for our Being.
I do not profess to always walk this path, I am by no means a Nelson Mandela, Gandhi or anyone like that, but I try. And as I go along and I look back over my life I can see year on year that although I might stumble and I might have a wobble and sometimes those wobbles are quite major that I am still going in the right direction. And that's why I know that these things that I am talking about work. These tools that I share, these ideas and inspirations they’re things that my clients use and I see the most amazing transformations in their lives. And the things that I use, practice, and play with work in my life as well.
There is too much in the journey into authentic power to be able to put in this blog but if you want to start this journey I would recommend that you first of all connect to your Being. You need to be able to know the truth of you before you can hold space for it. There are a number of meditations you can use and the app InsightTimer has thousands of mediations you can have a look through otherwise I created a meditation about connecting to your truth/soul - Connecting To Your Soul Mediation it should help you to connect to that aspect of yourself. Holding space for your being is about seeing the beauty in yourself and being true to yourself and not wavering when other people come into your life. It's not about buying into other people's reality and it's about trusting in your own reality and in yourself. The more fully that you can step into this the more fully you can stand in this space and the more powerful you will be. The beauty about this power is it cannot be misused because when you're standing in the space of love and the space of truth and the space of connection only truth and love and connection can come through. There is a story I love. It is about an orange and how if you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out. If you squeeze a lemon, lemon juice comes out. And how the same is true of us. If we are squeezed what we are inside is what is squeezed out. If we're still stuck in a subconscious egotistical automated way of being where we believe our programs and our beliefs and we think they are real then when we get rattled and we get squeezed what comes out of us is the pain, hurts and anger. The more we shift into this conscious way of being into authentic power then when we get squeezed what's inside of us is love, passion, beautiful passion, joy and bliss is what is released and we share it with the world. I see Nelson Mandela got to a place in his life that when things squeezed him and he got bumped that what came out of him was love and compassion and the ability to see the beauty in others to see the spark, the truth inside everyone else. When you can see it this truth in you then you can see it in somebody else and then everybody in the world that you come into contact with is a joyous connection.
I hope you enjoyed this rather rambling blog on Authentic Power, I have only just scraped the surface of it and will dive deeper in the future.
So much love from me to you
All of us are in relationships whether they are romantic, friendship, social, work, virtual or family relationships. And family relationships are the best ones to practice what I am going to share with you as you have got so many patterns and triggers with family and when you start using what I am going to share with you so that you can navigate what to do when communication breaks down.
When you think of communication you might think of speech or even written communication but communication is something that comes from who you are Being. You do it with your body (gestures and stance), with your energy, the tone of your voice, your interest and you do it through the words that you say. However the words that you say are not always heard and the reason for that is that whatever emotion and energy is going on behind your words you project onto the other person. And depending on what state you are in when you are communicating the person you are communicating with might respond to the energy rather than the words that you are saying. This is particularly noticeable when you're having an argument with somebody and you're trying to say something but you are over emotional. What the other person will most likely pick up on is the agitation in you rather than the words that you’re saying.
So with this in mind the first step of conscious communication is
One final point is that if the incident was because the other person was highly emotional remember what I said above about how what you are experiencing is your stuff. That also goes for what someone else is experiencing. Realise that what they are experiencing is theirs. You do not need to buy into their anger, hurt, or frustration. They will want you to because there is a false sense of relief in blaming someone else. When this happens
The more you are able to hold a genuinely loving and understanding space when they are experiencing whatever they are experiencing the more likely you will be able to connect with them and have a conscious constructive conversation. Sometimes they don’t need anything from you just for you to understand how they feel and by sharing what you can see this can sometimes be enough. It is important to be in a space of deep listening, not listening to answer, combat or to put in a quick quip but listening from understanding. Understanding where their pain is coming from that can de-energise de-emotionalise what is going on
I hope you find some useful ideas in this weeks blog on what to do when communication breaks down and I would love to know how you get on with the tools.
So much love from me to you.
This blog is all about raising your vibration, and in a recent course on raising your vibration one of the participants suggested I should share why any one would want to raise there vibration so here you go.
If you raise your vibration you will experience;
- Better feelings, the higher you vibrate the better you feel. All emotions are on a vibrational scale with depression near the bottom then it moves up and into anger then acceptance and on upwards till you get to hopefulness which is the start of beginning to feel slightly good. It continues all the way up to love and bliss. Your emotions tell you where you are on the vibrational scale.
- Your reality matches your vibration. If you vibrate at the lower rates you will experience more things to be depressed about, more things to be angry about. life will seem hard and as if it is always against you The higher you vibrate the more you will draw things into your reality that match that vibration. You will experience synchronisities and coincidences life will feels easy and magical. Who wouldn’t want that?
Don’t make yourself wrong about where you are. It is just what it is. If you had know better you would have done better you are doing the best you can. Making yourself wrong takes you down the vibrational scale as when you make yourself wrong you feel bad and as I said above if you feel bad your vibrations are low.
The wonderful thing about what I am going to share with you today is that you are in total control of how you feel you were just never taught how to do this. Consider this blog the beginning of how to do this.
And there's so many ways that you can raise your vibration
These are just some ideas and I am certainly not trying to give you a prescription because I do not know you or know what makes you feel good. These are just a few ideas to get started with and there are a lot more.
You can shift yourself up or shift yourself down no matter where you are. It is your choice to shift your focus and to look for the next thing that is slightly better than where you are. If you're depressed feeling angry is better than feeling depressed so allow yourself to feel angry. When you're angry then stretch for the next thing above anger that makes you feel better. But don't fight it and make yourself wrong for where you are. Don’t try to shift from depression to bliss as this will feel overwhelming and most likely make you feel like you are useless. Just look for the next best little step up. The next emotion that will make you feel slightly better. It's not about telling yourself that you need to make a leap across a chasm that just doesn't seem possible. It's about micro shifts. Every little shift you make helps you to increase your vibration. Having a bubble bath doing things that make you happy.
So there's so many things that you can do and I've got a free course about raising your vibration (which I have linked here) with lots more ideas on how to raise your vibration. I hope this has helped you to realise the importance of where you are on your vibrational scale and why you need to look after it. Everything that you experience in life comes from where you're vibrating and you have control over that. You have the ability to choose things that can help you shift that vibration into a higher level.
So much love from me to you and I'll see you next week