I am going to share a concept with you that has fascinated me for a long time - we don't know what we don't know. I know this seem’s obvious, but we can't experience something that we don't have knowledge of in our minds or language to make sense of it. Our brain filters things out that don't make sense so sometimes something might be in our reality but we just don't see it. Which is a very tricky thing to try and share with people because how do you explain something that they will never have noticed? But I am going to try because once you know this you might be able to overcome your limitations even the ones you didn’t know you had. And to start I am going to share a few examples;
These are all stories of other people who had experienced this and while I found it fascinating I still couldn’t really believe that this was what happened. And then I had my own experience;
I am sharing this with you because the opposite is also true. We can't experience something that we don't have the language or knowledge for in our mind and we also experience everything that we do have language and knowledge for. Whatever information you have absorbed from your infancy, through your childhood, your teenage years and into adulthood be it from your society, caregivers, parents, schooling, culture, from what you've read, watched, or experienced all of that goes to build this database in your mind that gives you constructs for what you think reality is. These are the stories that you've told yourself to make sense of your world and to be able to survive and live in it. It also forms the basis of what you think is possible in life and what you think is not. Now I hope you can see or are starting to see that just because you think it is possible or or not does not actually make it so. I hope I have demonstrated with the previous examples that just because you believe something is possible does not make it so.
So where in your life are you limiting yourself and limiting the possibilities that you could possibly have in life?
In case you are still not convinced I have one more example to share;
The reason I am sharing all of this is because I want to ask you where in your life have you decided that something is not possible? That something cannot be done? That there is a reason you cannot achieve something or experience something or have something in your life? What I would really love you to do as an exercise following on from this blog is to go and find people that have done what ever you think is impossible. I am dyslexic so if I was to do this I might think it isn’t possible for me to write a book or be taken seriously in literary circles. If this was the case I would then purposefully find people who were dyslexic and had done the things I thought I couldn’t. I would then use these examples to convince myself that actually these things I thought were impossible are possible. There are so many areas that you can use this to overcome your limitations and to start living a life of possibility
So much love from me to you.
This topic (taking your power back) is something I wish I had known more about earlier in my life. I have always been a people pleaser and didn’t realise that I was either giving my power away to others or was taking their power from them by taking responsibility for aspects of their life. Let me explain…
… in life we tend to give our power away and we do this when we make other people responsible for things in our lives. One way to notice when you do this is to be aware of when you blame people for things in your life or when you let people make decisions for you. You can give your power away in many areas of your life. If could be that you think your parter is responsible for making you happy or making you feel loved. I could be financially, or your success at work, or your ability to do what you love. In fact it could be in any area of your life. Let me give you some examples of where I have gone wrong and given my power away in the past. I can not say I am very proud of what I am going to share with you in fact I feel decidedly uncomfortable sharing it but I hope that you will gain something from what I am going to share that might help you in your life.
I learned this the hard way, a really hard way. When we were planning to move to the UK it was quite time sensitive because I needed to get my boys into school as quickly as possible as my eldest was going in to his GCSE year. It was unlikely that our house was going to sell that quickly and my father very kindly offered to support us until the house did sell so that we could move straight away. I would then repay him when my house sold. It was an incredibly generous offer of his and I'm very grateful to him for doing that. I also relied on the maintenance I received from my ex which contributed to providing for my children. And finally I thought that I would be bale to get my business going fairly quickly. In all three cases I had given my financial power away to other parties. My father, my ex and to some as yet unknown clients. In hindsight this was a little foolish but I was under pressure to get my kids into school so I thought I was doing the right thing. What then happened was a perfect storm. The Botswana economy crashed and I was unable to sell my house for a reasonable price. My ex lost his job and just stopped paying any maintenance at all and it took me a lot longer to get set up than I thought it would. My poor father had to support us for much longer than either of us had thought he would. As you might be able to imagine this was quite a stressful time. Whilst I was in the middle of it I was focusing on doing all the things I knew were good for me and would support me thought it but because I relied on my father and my ex I was also at the mercy of their thoughts, expectations and fears. The time was stressful enough as it was but it was even more stressful as I was also dealing with their fears. In fact I think I found this the hardest part. There came a crunch point where my father rightly said he could no longer continue to support us as he had been doing and I certainly did not want to take any more money from him. We had to leave the house we were living in which we loved, sell the car and seriously downsize. We ended living above an empty shop. It was not a very nice place but we had a roof over our heads and we were together so all was well. It was from here that I started to take back my power over the finances in my life. I find this hard to write as I feel ashamed of what I let happen and I am aware that I let it happen. Neither my father or my ex were to blame. If I had not relied on them they would not have been in a position of power over my finances. The changes were not ideal but it was the right thing to do at the time because I took back my control over my life.
Tied in with all that was going on at this time was also the struggle I was facing in setting up my own business. I didn’t have a network, or contacts and was starting very much from scratch. I remember my father at one point telling me that I should just get a proper job. I did contemplate this but for me this felt like a part of me would have to die I love my work, I love it so much, I love my coaching, I love working with people, I love seeing their lives transform, and magic come into them. Not to mention I had spent years learning and then building up my business in Botswana where I was very successful and to give all of that up was not something I was willing to let happen. What I realised was that I was giving away my power again. I was allowing my circumstances to dictate whether or not I was doing what I loved. It was then that I decided to do what I loved regardless of the network I had or the demand for it and that was when I started creating my podcast, courses and YouTube videos in earnest. It did not matter if anyone listened, watched or read and of them I got immense amount of joy from the creating of them and from the process of allowing inspiration. Since I started to do this my business has been growing and continues to grow.
Funnily now that I write this I am very aware that nearly every part of my life was trying to push me to step into and understand what it meant to be in my power. from this journey I have learnt that I am 100% responsible for my own happiness, for my financial security, and for every area of my life and that there is always a solution to help me move forwards.
I am not able to show up and be me and you can do the same you might have to overcome the fear of what people will think of you of of whether or not you're good enough and all of those things but those things that you think about those limiting beliefs they crush your soul they hold you small and when you drop them down just think about this beautiful flower that opens up and is able to shine and blossom in the world and being able to thrive and that's about stepping back into your power
To recap on this because it is so important - See where in your life you blame other people. Where you blame other people for your circumstances is a key indicator that you've given your power away. Remember that nobody is responsible for how you feel in life. My father and my ex weren't responsible for what I went through. I chose to let them have more power over the financial side of my life. And it was my choice to take back my power as well.
To take your power back you need to start by taking responsibility for your life. If you are feeling like your finances are out of our control what do you need to do to get back in control? If you feel unloved and that your partner is not loving enough what do you need to do to feel loved? It is not about what they need to do for you but what do you need to do for yourself. If you are not fulfilled don’t blame life find out what makes you come alive and do that.
What I want to share with you is that you are not reliant on other people for things in your life even if you think you are. I tend to take giant leaps but this can be quite stressful and you don’t need to be so drastic you could start to make little steps and slowly build on them.
Have a fabulous week and so much love form me to you.
I want to speak to you about raising your vibration through gratitude. I have already written a lot about gratitude in various in various shapes and forms but I want to dive into gratitude in a deeper way than I have before. I have realised there's two different ways to do gratitude and that is what I want to share with you today.
In case you haven't read or listened to any of the other things that I have shared on gratitude I will very quickly share the story of my gratitude journey. It started in 2019 when I had to move home. I knew that moving house would be very stressful especially as I am a single mother so have to do nearly everything on my own. From past experience moving seriously depletes me so I decided that this time I would try to put things in place to support myself and hopefully ensure that I was staying in the space that I want to be living in irrespective of the stress that I knew I was most likely going to go under. This decision led to the inspiration to start a Gratitude Group on Facebook. When I started this group I didn’t expect it to be particularly well attended. I thought some close friends might be kind enough to join me and help me in this space but I was not expecting much more than that. What actually happened totally took me by surprise and before I knew it the group was well over 100 people. At the point of writing this blog I think we have close to 600 people in the group which to me is quite a lot, it is certainly more than the five to ten people I thought I was going to have. Initially when set up the group I was only going to do it for the month that I was moving and settling in but because so many people joined I extended it and then extended it again. Until around Christmas time some lovely people in the group and I decided to run it every day for the next year.
I have learnt so much from running this gratitude group and one of these things is what I want to share with you today. What I have realised is that you can do gratitude 2 ways (there might be more but for the purpose of this blog I am going to share 2.
When I started doing it regularly I would sit down every night and I would share five things that I was grateful for. I tried to find five different things every day so that I didn’t just default to a preprepared list of things I was grateful for. I wanted to stretch myself and to change how I interacted with the world. Initially just the change in my focus in life was noticeable because I began looking for things in my life to be grateful for. As I went about my day with the focus of gratitude I started to notice things I would never have done before. I became more sensitive to things of beauty and wonder because I was looking for them. Instead of just driving under the trees on the way to or from school I would notice how the light played off the leaves, or the colour of the leaves, or the sound they made as the wind blew through them. Before this I was often so caught up in my own thoughts that I would pass by without noticing them at all.
What I have now realised is that you can deepen, expand or make this experience even more rich and beautiful. And the way to do this is by stepping more deeply into the things that you've found to be grateful for and building them up and amplifying them. For instance if I have seen a flower in my garden that I have planted, nurtured and grown and it's bloomed. I can see it and note that I am grateful for it and remember that I must add it to my list of gratitudes that evening. This is a very metal experience.
Or I can take it a level deeper. To do this I need to step into the experience with the flower. I can allow the colour of the flower to wash over me to sense the colour rather than just mentally say it in my mind. I can allow myself to feel the energy of the flower and to step into presence with flower experience the joy of the anticipation of it blooming and the joy of seeing it bloom to really percolate in my being. Give space for this experience to expand in my life. The more that I allow myself to truly step into this way of experiencing life the more expanded my heart becomes the more beautiful and joyful my life becomes and the higher my vibration becomes. The next time you see something that you are grateful for allow yourself to experience it with your whole body and then let me know how it went ;)
This is has been a very short little reflection today on raising your vibration through gratitude but to me it's so incredibly important because it takes the little small little things that could be insignificant and it allows you to fully step into the glory of all that they are it allows you to resonate at a higher level and it allows you to bring joy into your life and bliss and just so much magic and happiness in the little moments it's taking those little moments and expanding them so that they take up more space and they take up more time and they allow more energy into your life
If you want to access more of my resources or arrange a chemistry call to see if working with me would be a goo idea just visit my website the link will be in my bio.
So much love from me to you
Today I want to talk about playing with the universe, and it is a playground. It is a joyful place to be the problem is that we are brought up not to know how to and we are brought up not to believe that it is. Instead we are taught that it is a serious place and that we need to work hard and take ourselves seriously. When you watch children they don’t take life seriously there's a curiosity a joy and lightness.
When I look back on when I was a child I was a phenomenal a creator, I do not mean this to brag I am sure if you look back at your childhood you will find you were too. I loved horses but we had very little money and certainly not enough to own or even lease a horse. Yet my inability to see limitations allowed me to create the experience of owning a pony without actually having to own it. We heard about someone’s son who had out grown his pony. He was a typical Thelwell pony. He was a strawberry rhone Section B Welsh pony named Concord and he was perfect! They didn't want to give him up because they loved him dearly, so I got to look after him, ride him, take him to pony club and care for him completely free as if he was my own.
There were so many things that I was able to create when I was young because I just enjoyed it . I found life so amazingly interesting, and what I want to share with you today is the thought that - if we were able to take life less seriously maybe we wouldn't get so hurt or feel so defeated when things don't turn out the way we want them to. Instead of seeing ourselves as failures or that live is hard or working against us we would shrug and think oh well let me try that again. It would be more like a game just a skill we hadn’t mastered yet rather than the way life is. It would be like learning to ride a bicycle or learning to walk. If you fall over you wouldn’t beat yourself up and say “I am an awful person,” “I failed I'll never be able to do this”! Instead you would giggle and bounce back up and try again.
In the past I didn't truly understand how creation worked. I thought that if I got the creation process right then Universe/Source would deliver what I wanted and it would be perfect. If it wasn’t then I felt that there was something wrong with me, that I was ungrateful, undeserving, selfish, or not good enough. I didn't realise that what I was receiving was just a reflection of the level that I was vibrating at and what I was holding onto in my energy body. Now I realised that there's such joy in creation and there is such juiciness and such wonder and that if I don’t like what I created I can change direction, throw it back (metaphorically) or try something else.
Where did we lose our curiosity and wonder at life? Why do we take it so personally?
In the past I have been quite a dab hand at creating boyfriends. I have done it twice.
1, When I created the first one I had a list. I was very specific! He had to be taller than me, a non smoker, a handyman (the men in my family are not really very handy), caring and I can't remember what else but it was extensive and very detailed. The person that came into my life ticked every single box. It was amazing but the relationship was a disaster. I thought I had failed. I remember feeling very specifically that I must have done something wrong. I tried so hard to be the right person and I punished myself because I believed that I was the failure in the relationship. I believed I was the one that was causing it to be so awful.
2, A few years later I decided I would try again and I created another list, but this time it was a very different list. Instead of having physical attributes my new list was more about experiences that I wanted to have with this person. I wanted to enjoy dancing with him. I wanted to feel loved by him and I can’t even remember what else was on the list but again it was quite detailed. The next man I met ticked all of these items on my list, but this time it was different. Right from the start even though there was an instant connection I took it a bit slower and when I was dating him there came a point when I realised that something wasn’t quite right, something was off . Unfortunately I still hadn’t quite gotten it so I ignored this feeling because I thought that since the Universe/Source has brought me this person he must be the right one. I now realise he showed up i my life because of where I was vibrating at that point in my life. I didn't have to go out with him and when I sensed that there was something off I could have ended it then. I could have said you know what this isn't going to work for me. If could have seen it for what it was - I had had a wobble on my bicycle and just needed more practice at creating. I could have said “okay I know I have attracted this person because of where I am vibrating at and there's something not quite right. Let me have a little play with what is sticking and see where my vibration is off. Let me recalibrate and then go back and see what's out there in the world that meets where I want to be”. I knew where I wanted to be with my vibration but I hadn't quite gotten there yet, I hadn't fine-tuned it enough. As it happened I lived with the guy for close to 3 years and it took me years afterwards to even contemplate dating again. This was because I took it so seriously when it needn’t have been. I think I have gotten there in the end but I hope that this blog helps you to get there a little faster than I did and to enjoy the ride a little more.
You can access more of my resources on this website.
So much love from me to you
Since I have known about it I have found how life reflects what is going on inside my head to be fascinating. People often think that life happens to us but it is who we are being that creates our lives and most definitely creates the experience we have of life. Your life is a reflection of your focus.
You might already know this but I hope through the examples I am going to give you and from sone of the insights I have gained over the years which I will share that you might be able to gain a deeper understanding for yourself.
I know I have mentioned Abraham Hicks quite a few times recently I, have been listening to a lot of their podcast and what they say really speaks to me and is very much in line with my own thoughts and experiences.
We are all made of energy and we vibrate and depending on what we are focusing on we vibrate at different frequencies. We also have an energy field (which Abraham call’s “the vortex”) and this energy field is full of everything you have experienced. The things you don’t like and the things you do like. Every time you focus on something it registers in this energy field. Through the contrast of life you have added many things to your energy field and you activate them and deactivate them by how you focus. The more you focus on something, the more you are emotionally charged about it, the more you aligned to it and the more likely you are to see it showing up in your life. It doesn't matter what you focus on but the more energetically you’re charged by it be it positive or negative the more likely it is to show up in your environment.
I have found that FaceBook or any social media demonstrates this incredibly well;
I was walking with a very dear friend of mine and we were talking about Facebook. She was complaining that all people seemed to post about were conspiracy theories and hating the government and she wished people would stop doing this. Her comments got me thinking, I very rarely get any of these things in my feed but I realised that when I do I simply flick past them. I don’t read them, like them, share them or comment on them. I don’t engage with them at all which I suppose means I don’t engage with people who post this material either. I think because of this FaceBook’s logarithms (much like life) realise that this is of no interest to me and stop sending me these posts. I allow what you don’t want in life just let it pass you by, don’t engage with it, shout at it, think about it or focus on it in any way (unless you are legally obliged to then do what you have to with the least amount of emotional attachment).
After thinking about this I realised that I had real life experience of how not focusing on the stuff I don’t want has helped me to have more of what I do.
Before I left Botswana the country was going through a really rough time. Crime was up especially in my neighbourhood (when the river ran dry thieves could escape across into South Africa and the Botswana police weren’t able to follow them), we were going through a 4 year drought hence the dry river and there were big problems with the new power plant, in that it didn’t work. This meant Botswana had to buy power in from South Africa or Angola and these places did not even have enough power for themselves, so there were many power cuts too. However I chose not to gossip about the crime, or to talk and worry about the power cuts or water shortages. I consciously chose to focus on safety and having water and power. This is not to say that I did not take precautions, I locked the doors every night and put the alarm on, we were carful about the water we used and made plans for when we had power cuts. I lived in this house mainly on my own with my two boys for 14 years and only had 1 theft and this was very minor. Someone passed through our property one night and stole a frozen pie out of a freezer that was on the porch. In the time I lived there both of my neighbours were broken into but I never was. During the drought everyone who lived near us had to truck water in for all of their amenities and we didn’t. Our boar hole kept going and we were fine. We were also very lucky with the power. We did have power cuts however at one time the government instituted nightly power usage limits which meant you were lucky if you could boil a kettle. We were incredibly fortunate because we had three phase power (don’t ask me to explain what this is) and this meant we were exempt from this action. Writing this now it seems like this was an easy thing to do but it wasn’t. I wasn’t always sure of what I was doing or if it would work, doubted myself and doubted what I thought I knew but I did know that engaging with the fear only made me more frightened and I didn’t like feeling like that. Looking back on this time it is my belief that how I chose to focus impacted not only how I felt during this time but also what I experienced.
I would also like to point out that I was not fighting reality (I was not making it wrong) - the crime, drought or power cuts. I accepted that they were part of my life and chose actions to ensure my safety and that of my children but I also but to the best of my ability I chose to then focus on the positive things in my life.
I hope that this has in some way inspired you to see how you can create your own reality just by focusing on what you want in your reality rather on the things that you don't want. And by choosing who you interact with, the conversations you have, the things you read, and what you do you can change your experience of your life.
If you want to access more of my resources or arrange a coaching session you can find my website address in my profile.
So much love from me to you