How to leave the negative stuff behind you
As I reflect back on this year (it has been both incredibly though for me and out of this world amazing) there are “things” (learnings, understandings, experiences, and memories) that I would like to take with me into the new year. To build on and also to be grateful for. There are also “things” (hurts, frustrations, disappointments and heaviness) that I do not want to bring with me. I think one of the things that really ages us is our inability to let these negative things go. Instead we try to bury them or ignore them but they never quite disappear completely leaving us will a little less energy and vitality every year.
The consciousness tool I am going to share with you today will show you how to complete the negative things so that you can move lightly and joyfully into the New Year with more possibilities than limitations.
It can be hard to know how to handle the negative things that happen to us in life. There is no lesson at school teaching us how to handle breakups, unexpected side swipes, angry people, or other mishaps. And how we handle them will differ with each of us and with each situation. Somethings will be resolved without much thought whilst other things just seem to never quite leave you.
To be able to complete your year I first will have to show you how to recognise an incompletion and it is quite simple really;
Incompletions live in our minds and our thoughts. They are like caged animals restlessly moving around in our minds. You do not have to go looking for incompletions. All you need to do is find some quite time. You could go for a walk, or run, sit in a park or in our lounge (with all your gadgets off) and then just observe your thoughts. Where do they go? What are they worrying about or what are they working on? The way our minds work is that if something is incomplete it will automatically try to resolve it. If you think back to a time when you had an argument with someone, what happened to your thoughts after the argument? I know mine rework what I said in 100 different ways and then play out - “if I said this then that would have happened, and if I then said then this would have happened.” This hyper thinking is because you are experiencing an incompletion. Not all incompletions trigger this level of hyper thinking but if you take time to observe you will be able to see what your mind is trying to work on and then you can complete it and free yourself.
Completing - Completing these incompletions is a 3 step process
1st - Awareness
If you are not aware of your incompletion/s you will not be able to do anything about them. So use the exercise above and take some time out to observe your thoughts. Use your phone or a note pad to jot down what has been playing on your mind. Make a list.
2nd - Decision
Once you know what your incompletions are the next step is to make a decision about them. Ultimately an incompletion is a decision you have put off making. There are a few things to keep in mind when making your decisions.
a) A decision does not have to be made to take action immediately. For instance if you are in a relationship that is not 100% I am not suggesting you ditch it and move on. However you can still make a decision. You might decide to make the final decision in 3 months time after you have tried a couple of initiatives to create the relationship you really want. So this decision will be a decision to make a decision at a later specified date.
b) When making decisions it is more empowering to make them when thinking about what you want to create rather than in reaction. When we make decisions and take action from a place of reaction we end up creating the very thing that we fear. Instead ask yourself “what would I really like the outcome to be?” and then ask yourself “what decision could I make that would take me towards what I want?”. This will give you empowering decisions that will take your life in the direction you want it to go in.
3rd - Let it go
When you have made your decision you can let the incompletion go. Sometimes this can seem easier said than done and your mind might have become used to working over a particular challenge. It is impossible to get your mind not to think about something because by the very nature of instructing it not to think of something it is then thinking of it. For instance if I said don’t think about a purple spotted elephant - you are not thinking of a purple spotted elephant. However you can refocus it. Instead of letting your mind worry over your incompletion decide what you would like once you have moved past your incompletion and when you find yourself worrying over your incompletion make the choice to refocus on your desired outcome or even something completely different. I love the saying let go and let God. You can choose the god of your understanding but when I do this I feel like I am passing my troubles up and when I have done this I have often found that the answer can come to me from any where… a conversation with a friend or colleague, an article I am reading or a program I am watching. I don’t know how it works but i do know that it does work.
Negative draining incompletions are not the only incompletions we can have. We can also have positive creative incompletions. This is when you have just started something in your life or a new project. It is something that it at the beginning of its creation and you might think about it a lot but it is exciting and joyous. You could use one of these to focus on once you let go of your negative incompletion.
I am doing a few webinars and short courses as well as sharing more consciousness tools. If you want to stay in the loop remember to stay connected.
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Wishing you a fabulous festive season and a wondrous New Year.