It is rather ironic that I am the one writing this article as I have been just a **little** bit controlling in my own life. However I have recently realised that control of any kind leads to suffocation; it drains the fun, the enjoyment, and the joy out of whatever you are trying to control. This is true of everything I have tried to think of, romantic relationships, relationships with your children, work, exercise, food, socialising and everything else.
Control comes from fear and your ego and it is an attempt by you and I to take charge of things that we fear might not turn out the way we think they should. For example in relationships people start to take control when they don't trust the other person either professionally or personally and they are scared that they might not behave in a way they would like them to. With food you take control because you fear that **you** might not turn out the way you dream!
The fact that it comes from fear means that it is not serving our highest self as this operates on a much higher level than fear. There are only two main emotions love and fear and yes you have guessed it fear is not the positive one. Fear does have its place in that it ensures that your physical body stays alive but if you allow it to run your life then your life will become pretty limited.
You can even feel the fear and control in your body; when I try to take control of things I feel tighter and more closed and that this affects the outcomes of the situations I try to control. The very nature of control means that you are aiming for a certain outcome yet by doing this you exclude not only the options that you are afraid of but also the ones that you are unaware of that actually might bring you what you want and more. You exclude synchronicity and coincidences (not that there is such a thing ). I love it when I am in flow and it is as if the universe is able to play through me. When I take control I stop this from happening; I can actually feel myself close up and become tense. If I can feel it physically how can anything else move through me? Even my mind closes up and focuses just on what I want.
I have experienced this so many times as I have been growing my business. I might hit a slow spot and I start to worry but if I look at it I actually started to worry before I hit the slow spot so did I actually cause the slowdown through my fear? I have also noticed that this stress gets to a certain level and I can’t take it any more so I then choose to let go. As soon as I do this things start to move again. This might sound like nonsense but I have experienced it too many times to doubt it. I know that when I let go and let God as someone once told me that the outcomes are far more exciting and wondrous then when I am at the controls.
What I am suggesting is not that you become out of control either; but rather you give up control and step into a quiet space where you do the things you need to do and let go of stressing about the rest. When I am in this space thoughts come into my head and I act on them. Someone’s name will pop in to my thoughts and I know I have to call them. It is as if I am being moved by an unseen force that knows something more than I do and how it speaks to me is in stillness and quiet when it will pop thoughts into my head that it hopes I will listen to. I have found that these thoughts seem to lead me in the right direction and the only time that I go wrong is when I doubt this and think I can do a better job! Sometimes like right now I find that technology or life stops me from completing something because I have not quite figured it out. Like a few moments ago I went to post this but my computer decided to go really slow and in that moment I realised that I hadn’t written about being out of control. I just love it when that happens.
So when you feel stressed and tense take yourself off somewhere quiet and reconnect, breath and allow yourself to open up and if you are really brave – Let go and let God I promise you it is a wild and wonderful ride!