The Right Mindset For Challenging Times

The UK has just gone into their second lockdown and it moved me to want to share something that I know about reality and illusion. You might not live in the UK however what I am going to share with you is applicable for anyone who wants to change their mindset in challenging times. 

I will be speaking directly into the experience of lockdown however as I have said if you find that there are circumstances in your life that you are at odds with, unhappy about, cross, or upset with you can apply what I am going to share with you. I am only focusing on lockdown because the same cause will be effecting a huge group of people. 

People will be worried about their work and income. They might have uncomfortable living arrangements or have flat mates or neighbours that upset them. And obviously people will be worried about their health and about catching the virus. These are just some of the things that could be stressing you and what is stressing you might not be on this list but it still counts. 

I imagine that whatever is upsetting you will be triggering a lot of negative thoughts, emotions and a lot of resistance within you. You might find the need to share your thoughts with others and you might find when you do this that your feelings what ever they are (upset, angry, resistant) increase even more. 

However I would like to share the concept of reality and illusion with you. You might find that what I am going to share with you might trigger you as well but please read to the end and take some times to really hear it. 

Reality - This is what is. It is the irrefutable truth of a situation. Such as the UK has gone into it’s second lockdown, pine trees are not deciduous, the UK is smaller than the USA. Reality is the facts. 

Illusion - Is what you think about the reality. In regards to the UK lockdown you might be upset about it, you might think that the government are incompetent, you might be quite happy about it, but none of this changes what is - the UK has gone into it’s 2nd lockdown. In regards to the pine tree you might love that they always look green or you might hate the resin that they drop and again none of this stops them for being exactly what they are. 
Anything that comes after - Should, shouldn’t, must, mustn’t, but because and why all leads you into your illusion that your opinion can change reality. 

As humans we tend to think that how we feel about a situation matters but in reality it does not. What I mean by this is that how you feel about a situation does not change that situation. That is not to say that you shouldn't be allowed an opinion. However quite often we get so attached to our opinions and we work them over and over in our heads becoming really agitated by the overthinking of a situation. 

For instance the lockdown in the UK is a reality it is happening. How you feel about it does not change that it is happening. You might think that how you think and feel about something is incredibly important and you might be very attached and involved with how you feel but ask yourself something do you feel good when you think and feel this thing or do you feel anxious and unhappy? And has how you feel changed the reality? I am pretty certain it hasn’t. 

I have got something completely abstract to share with you which I normally share with my clients in regard to this topic.The reality is that the moon is a creamy yellowish colour (this might not be the exact colour for any astronomers out there but for the sake of this blog that is the colour). Now let's pretend that you are not happy with the colour of the moon. You think it should be bright pink with purple spots or something like that. And every time you look at the moon you get really upset and agitated that it's not the colour you think it should be. Your thinking it should be different does not change what the moon is. The moon will not change it’s colour due to your thoughts about it just like the government of the UK will not open up the UK just because you are unhappy with the lockdown. The more you fight either of these realities there is only one outcome you will feel more unhappy, anxious, hurt and angry. As Byron Katie say - “When you argue with reality you lose only 100% of the time.” 

However if what I have said has made you very uncomfortable there is some relief. There is a process to be able to deal with reality when it sits at odds with what you want;  

1. Accept it - In regards tot he moon analogy - accept that the moon is the colour it is. In regards to lockdown in the UK accept that it has happened. 
   
2. Decide what you want to do about it - Reverting to the moon you could not look at it, wear coloured glasses, not go out at night and so forth. It is about changing the constant ongoing story going on in your head about what's wrong with the situation into an action such as what can I do about it and this changes everything. In regards to lockdown whatever it is that you're unhappy about happening with lockdown instead of getting cross and talking to people about how awful it is and how it shouldn't be happening, rather say to yourself - “okay this is happening I have to accept that it's going to happen what do I choose to do about it? Who do I choose to be in regard to it? And how do I choose to converse and spend my time in regards to It? Is there anything that I could do to really make use of this time during lockdown? Is there anything that would really benefit me during this time? And as soon as you start looking at those things you will be able to feel the energy inside yourself change. Instead of being a trapped swirling agitated boiling mess (and it might feel different to you depending on how you process things) it suddenly has a path to take, a flow and a direction that it can go in. 
   
3. Action - Do what ever it is you have decided on. Stop talking and thinking and just get on with doing it. 
4. Let go - Stop revisiting the thoughts that are upsetting you and that are at odds with reality and let them go. Refocus on what you want to create and the actions you have chosen to take. 

I hope that you've enjoyed this little blog and I hope that if you are in lockdown in the UK and you've been upset about this that this might help you during that time. I also hope that if you're not necessarily going into lockdown but you have something in life that you've been agitating over it gives you some clarity on how to address the problem and how to start asking yourself - “what can I do about it?” 

Have a fabulous week and so much love from me to you

BrittTanya

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